RETRIBUTIONAL SODOMY

Swoon Swoon You're a Balloon vol. 1

2012-02-08T12:49:00.000-08:00

Sasha Grey

Please read my statement regarding the recent articles that stated I was donating to Read Across America. Most importantly, check out http://banninghistory.blogspot.com/

This is a sad attempt by a company I’ve never heard of to re-package and re-sell an outdated, previously-available scene, by touting it as one of my last scenes; nothing more than a cheap attempt to capitalize on the Read Across ...America controversy and my name. The real exploitation in the adult film business doesn’t happen on the set, it happens once the model releases are signed and companies make their distribution deals. While I don’t regret my former profession, I regret that this type of exploitation continues to thrive today. This isn't even newsworthy, but similar situations continue to happen to me and countless other performers.

Truthfully, I don’t know what to be more upset about: The fact that people are now mislead to believe I’m personally selling this movie with salacious marketing, or the fact that the NEA won’t take donations from this pathetic company. There’s little money for education in this beautiful country, and as a pro-education advocate, it’s heartbreaking to hear this. The NEA has denied that I am associated with them, which is correct. The 14-year-old program I was part of last November was also called Read Across America, which is where the confusion lies. However, nobody has cared enough to point that out, and instead pointed their fingers at me, making me the bad guy. The real story here should be that the regional non-profit Read Across America, Guest Reader Program that took place in Compton, CA is now defunct because of one lone disgruntled fan who harassed my parents, the school district, the media and me, for my involvement in such an important program. I think it’s sad that one person had enough time on their hands to inflict such an insurmountable amount of fear into an inner-city school district, causing the school to feel the need to lie about my presence and shut down the program altogether. It’s simply fascist.

Our educational system needs help. The Tucson Unified School District, for example, has banned a number of important books from their school system. Most of these books are rich in Chicano history. Here’s to hoping that we can bring education back to the forefront where it belongs.

Again, please take your time to check out http://banninghistory.blogspot.com/ and take a look at my video.

NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRD! vol. 36

2012-02-01T08:56:00.000-08:00

Threats come to pass as DC finally launches prequels to Alan Moore's WATCHMEN

as long as there has been a Watchmen, there has been DC wanting to expand (cash in) on the book, turning it into a franchise.... the very thing Watchmen was meant to be the antithesis of. that being said, i can't even find the heart to be pissed about this. it's just such a shallow $ grab that it almost seems not worth being upset over. maybe i alleviated all the disgust i had at the idea of Watchmen being a "property" when that abysmal film came and went (now at your local K-Mart DVD budget bin), so this just doesn't phase me.

and all the prequels and Ultimate Edition DVDs and video game tie-ins will look up and shout "BUY US!"
...and i'll look down, and whisper ... "No".

i have to admit... i am curious to see Azzarello do the Comedian and Rorschach (w/ Lee Bermejo! they're tricking me). that might be the one bright spot. but sunspots are bright, too... and they're not good for you.

more from the "creators"

...they i guess make a good point about Alan Moore's re-imagining of classic literary figures in books like League of Extraordinary Gentelmen and Lost Girls, but the key there is Moore did something DIFFERENT with those characters... took them to places they have never gone before, reconnecting them with their literary roots and exploring potentials that had never been touched on before he came along. can any of these creators say that they're going to be that daring with Moore and Gibbons' characters? i mean if they are, good for them... but i don't see it happening.

what made Watchmen stand out (in addition to most, if not all, of Moore's work) was that i was a story that had never been told about archetypal characters. the characters are ones we recognize, if only at a visual level, but they are put in situations we have never seen them (or characters like them) in before. That's what matters, not the adventures before or even after. before the events Moore laid out, they were just costumed crimefighters, their stories interchangeable with the myriad of others like them. the beauty of the book is that we don't need to see these characters on generic good vs. evil punchfests... we have the afterword of those fights, of an ever increasingly dangerous world and how they react with impotence, frustration, violence, aloofness, and madness when faced with newer, more deadly threats.

if these prequels have that depth, than great. but i feel like we're just gonna get more of the same... which is what Watchmen was not.

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 66(6 i lived alone... my mind was blank....)

2012-01-27T07:44:00.000-08:00

15 years on nothing but chicken nuggets

Docs warn Stacey's fast food diet will kill her

NICK PARKER

Published: 26 Jan 2012

Add a comment (267)

CHICKEN nugget fan Stacey Irvine has been warned they are KILLING her — because the 17-year-old has eaten practically nothing else since the age of TWO.

so she's kinda cute... easy to feed... and probably won't live past 19.

Shut Up, Mom! vol. 2

2012-01-24T07:16:00.000-08:00

The 84th Annual Academy Awards

Nominations announced Tuesday, January 24th; winners announced on Sunday, February 26th.

" oh wow what an amazing group of movies there! i'm so happy something mean spirited, viscious, and shockingly well-crafted like DRIVE didn't get its due while dishonestly feel good nonsense like WAR HORSE and EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE get accolades despite being the butt of every decent film-goer's jokes! they're just mean! smart people think they're so smart! feelings are what' important above all else!

shut up, Mom!

Fuck YOUR Life vol.21

2012-01-22T16:56:00.000-08:00

doin' this cause nothing's on TV and i hate myself. also because this is about as horrible as music is ever going to get. it's like when all those awful nu-metal bands would butcher new-wave songs, but somehow even more devoid of charm and necessity.

so yeah, here's ScreaMoetalcore renditions of pop songs;

(didn't think you could make LMFAO anymore DAMFS, but there it is)

(well i do want them to get bound, gagged, and beaten)

and of course the one who started it all;

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. the 13th part 7890698687683985: Jason and Marley and Me

2012-01-22T15:24:00.001-08:00

Yeah hi… I know it’s been a while since I posted on here. Don’t ask me why… just haven’t felt like it. Anyway this grabbed my attention;

Cops: Mastic Man Arrested After Choking Girlfriend To Death

By Jessica Sinclair on January 22nd, 2012

Justin Miller

A man was arrested and charged with 2nd Degree Murder this weekend after allegedly choking and killing his girlfriend in the home they shared.

According to Suffolk County Police, Saturday around 11 a.m., 35-year-old Justin Miller and his girlfriend, Teresa Heredia, 29, both of 26 Bullard St. in Mastic, were having a heated verbal exchange that led to a physical altercation. Cops say Miller choked Heredia to death, while the couple’s seven-month-old child was home. He called his sister who called authorities.

Officers arrived at the residence and found Heredia unconscious. She was transported to Brookhaven Memorial Hospital Medical Center in East Patchogue and pronounced dead.

Police took Miller into custody. He is scheduled to be arraigned Sunday at First District Court in Central Islip.

The couple’s seven-month-old child was not injured and was released to a relative.

------------

Twist ending;

I went to high school with the girl in this article.

she was held back a year and hanged with the "thug" kids. but she was otherwise a pretty nice girl. i mean maybe she was... i don't remember getting any crap from her. There were even moments when she looked kinda cute.

in any event, she was alright, and even if she wasn’t I can’t imagine anything she could have done that would necessitate getting strangled to death by the father of her child.. within the vicinity of said child...in the home they all shared. the more i ruminate on this... the more it genuinely distresses me. is it because i knew her? the senselessness of it? that i haven't left the house in two days?

choose life... i guess.

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. 12

2011-12-18T09:18:00.001-08:00

Neighbors said the woman was returning home to her fifth-floor apartment in Prospect Heights after a grocery store trip Saturday.

When the elevator arrived, the man -- dressed as an exterminator -- sprayed her with an unidentified liquid, set her afire and then fled,

Man burns woman alive in New York elevator

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 65

2011-12-09T08:30:00.000-08:00

i know more than a few waterheads who are clapping like seals at this one;

Korn Frontman Accuses President of Being 'Illuminati Puppet' in New Song

oooooooo take that, Brobama; an over the hill nu-metal frontman just wrote a song about you. oh and yeah... a fucking DUBSTEP song, for that matter.

again... this isn't about me supporting or not supporting a president or a political party/movement... believe what you want, write what you want, as long as its not hurting anyone directly... i'm just laughing at a jerk-off who spent 18 years singing about how miserable he is because someone called him gay once now trying to get political brownie points by using a boilerplate conspiracy theory that really holds no water. "ILLUMINATI PUPPETS 911 WAS AN INSIDE JOB ALEX JONES BILDERBERGS LIZARD PEOPLE".

summation; saying the President is an "Illuminati Puppet" is... well... it's like saying KoRn is your favorite metal band. so i guess it's okay after all.

ps: way to rip-off an album title from TOMBS, asshole.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 197

2011-11-28T10:59:00.001-08:00

KEN RUSSELL: 1927 - 2011

the first "weird" movies i remember seeing were those of Ken Russell. deliriously hallucinogenic... gleefully satanic.... the world always seems just a little more boring after experiencing one of his celluloid trips. but don't take my word for it... the pictures speak for themselves;

ps: just found this out

Fuck YOUR Life vol. 20

2011-11-23T13:59:00.000-08:00

Happy Fucking Thanksgiving, you mealy mouthed cuntdrippings.... you dysentery fart clouds... you shame-raped pube raisins.... you ass hair lined sperm maggots.... you intellectually amputated menstrual blood shot gunning toenail warts.... you embryo molesting shoe horn tongued bliss killing prick hags... you fact hating anti-literates....and the horses you rode in on... except replaces "horses" with "sheep" and "rode in on" with "piledrived with your microwave-accident of a cock".

ps: you're also gay.

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 64

2011-11-21T09:32:00.000-08:00

i'm sure most of the people championing the cops were listening to Rage Against the Machine 15 years ago.

i suddenly want something very bad to happen to everyone.

this will not be a well-rounded write up. this is pent up aggravation. pure and simple.

another reason discussions always remain at a stalemate in this country is because someone comes along and says "well i didn't see ***** getting pissed back when ****** did ***** to the ******", which turns into two pages of people talking about shit that happened 17 years ago, avoiding the current issue entirely. this came to me as watched a discussion about the occupy movement turn into a libertarian spear-headed debate about Waco and Ruby Ridge (absolute abortions of justice in their own right), where a pissed off humorless one-track-minded libertarian (i'm beginning to wonder if there is any other kind) wanted to steer the hot-button issue back towards his own agenda, which is all anyone can seem to do anymore.

yes... the government does horrible, knee-jerk, misguided attacks on people who subvert from the norm, as do some of these cops and the higher-powers of the Free Market. why should one allow the other? why should anyone have to get attacked if they are not attacking?

on that note;

NERRRRRRRD! vol. 35

2011-11-20T07:37:00.000-08:00

Empire has the first official DARK KNIGHT RISES cover photos of BATMAN & BANE!

ps: with the "talkback" of that piece, fanboy criticisms and knee-jerk contrariness have officially fallen into a "HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON" realm of hive-mind.

long story short;

if you think Tom Hardy is wrong for the role of Bane, watch BRONSON. he plays a brute who spends the bulk of his life in prison.... just like Bane.

if you think Anne Hathaway is wrong for Catwoman, watch HAVOC. she plays a sexy-but-intelligent tough girl who fucks around to the dangerpoint. just like Catwoman.

if you think Bane is "too small", take the time to actually OPEN UP A COMIC BOOK and you'll see that when Bane isn't jacked up on Venom, he's roughly the same size as Batman.

if you think Catwoman is a "shitty character"... i don't know what to do with that one. i guess if your only exposure to the character was the Halle Berry movie, i can see why you'd be so damn stupid... other than that i'm at a loss. is it that girls just ruin you're super-hero fantasies? cause i don't know about you... but after 2 Batman films with next to no women, i need some eye-candy. sue me.

"but SHE'S NOT TEH HOTTORZ ENOGUH FOR MEES!!!!". oh sure... that statuesque physique... that flowing brown hair... those full lips that when parted in a room-lighting grin reveal a perfect set of gleaming white teeth... those big dark eyes.... put all that in a form fitting black leather catsuit and you have a recipe for HUUARRRF.

keep in mind.... much of the negativity has been from on-the-set cellphone spy-pics and NOT anything official. the point is moot, though... as we're all going to see this.

and about Bane's look... i really like it. not just being Devil's Advocate, either. i love the cross between gas mask and muzzle. it actually looks like something that serves some sort of purpose beyond being scary-looking. much like Ledger's Joker, it seems like a smoothed out mash-up of all of Bane's looks from comic, television, toy, and video game incarnations of the character.

i dunno.. i'm psyched.

11/22 edit:

some more tidbits (nothing too spoliery) here

i really like the "COME AT ME, BRO!" pic in that article.

Does God Have a Crush on Us? vol. 7

2011-11-06T12:00:00.000-08:00

Richard Stanley Penning THE SECRET LIFE OF LORD MUSASHI For Takashi Miike

Titled The Secret Life Of Lord Musashi there is a strong possibility that this is an adaptation of the 1931 novel of the same name by Junichiro Tanazaki, in which the author claims to have discovered secret documents detailing the masochistic sexual preferences of the samurai warrior who wrote the famous book of tactics, strategy and philosophy The Book Of Five Rings.

.....

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 196

2011-11-03T10:46:00.000-07:00

French Trailer For Maury And Bustillo's LIVID Arrives

really happy to see this is hitting the light of day. some of the reviews have been mixed, but that's bound to happen when you follow up a mammoth like Inside.

Fuck YOUR Life vol. 19

2011-10-26T13:35:00.000-07:00

LOU REED & METALLICA - LuLu track breakdown

http://www.loureedmetallica.com/listen-to-lulu.php

1. BRANDENBURG GATE - "I would cut my legs and tits off / if i thought of Boris Karloff".... alright. sounds like a Jock Jam version of Angels of Light. Hetfield is going "Small town GUURRRRRRRRLah" in between Reed being drunk. that's the whole song, basically. like for 4 minutes, Reed and Hetfield-ah going SMALL TOWN GUUURRRRRL.

2. THE VIEW - sounds like a LOAD... that's it.. a load. but seriously, it's like a sub-mediocre slam poem with a warm-over Reload riff (JUST ONE RIFF...FOR 5 MINUTES... oh wait here comes a slightly different one). Hetfield is the root or something. Reed just went "WORSHIP! WORSHIP!". Hetfield is the table. i'm not kidding. he said I AM THE TABLE. more than once. I AM THE CHESS BOARD. I AM THE GAME OF TWISTER. I AM THE CANDYMAN VHS YOU FOUND AT GOODWILL.

3. PUMPING BLOOD - oh good, violins. after saying "Pumping Blood" like 12 times, Reed asks... "Pumping Blood?" as if to say "are we really doing this?". the gyst of this song is blood is pumping. holy shit it just more spoken-wordy. if you made a drinking game out of this song... you'd be an asshole who makes drinking games out of shitty records. Reed just said "Dog Prostitute". now that i can get behind... in every sense of the phrase. AHHH. oh dear this one is like 8 minutes. remember when Metallica wrote songs? remember when Lou Reed wrote simple, powerful songs about interesting shit? they snuck in a thrash part, but it makes no sense... but this whole thing makes no sense.i'm tuning out and imagining a Dog Prostitute.

4. MISTRESS DREAD - is that Judge Dredd's secret lover? nah.. she spells it differently. more half-baked speed metal with goth-kids-from-South-Park poetry. i actually wish there was more weird lyrics like "Dog Prostitute" and that "Tits and Karloff" thing. it's better than this "blood, girl" bullshit. jesus CHRIST this shit has been going on for 5 minutes. and there is still like 3 minutes to go. these are some of the most annoyingly hacky lyrics ever.

5. ICED HONEY - i actually really like that title for some reason. sounds like Charles Nelson Riley singing for Seven Mary Three. actually that would rule, so no this doesn't sound like that. so we're using honey jars and butterflies as metaphors for lady parts. that's like a 11th grade poetry workshop no-no. Hetfield says "Iced Hon-AAAYYYYYYYY-ah". this is the man who wrote "Battery". Trapped Under Iced Honey. AHHHHHHHH.

6. CHEAT ON ME - beginning sounds like wannabe King Crimson something-or-other. why couldn't Reed collaborate with them? at least Robert Fripp still knows what is and isn't complete horseshit. 11 COCK MINUTES. don't you steal "Cock Minutes" from me. i mean it. "Why do you cheat on me?. why do I cheat on me?" that's some next level pop-psychology 40 years ago. Reed just said "C'mon!". and now Hetfield is asking 'Why do i Cheat on Me-ah?". i'd like to think they're singing this to each other. so yeah, nearly twelve minutes of grown men asking why they cheat on each other. so Metallica is just a jam band now? and Reed is a passionless slam poet? and i'm going to kill myself while this album plays just so they can get sued for it? i'm cheating on life with a noose. DEEP.

7. FRUSTRATION - opening actually sounds okay. then come the fucking Creed riffs. "Frustraion-ion-ion-ion". "i cry icicles"... eeeeegh. "you and your prickless lover" is okay. song is fucking HILARIOUS at the 2:40 mark and beyond. "SPERMLESS LIKE A GIRL". i'd actually like to hear Brainbombs cover this song... mostly because i'd rather be listening to the Brainbombs right now. this song might be passable if it was just the creepy parts and the spermprick parts and none of this "My Lexicon of Hate" bullshit. great, now they're trying to be the Doors. and here comes the Black Album table scraps (more like WACK album durhuruhururhuurhur). "MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME SPERMLESS LIKE A GIRL" ("spermless like a girl" being his pet name for Lars). i'm convinced Metallica just goes with whatever will make Robert Trulio do his ape-walk deal.

8. LITTLE DOG - more Swans/Angels of Light biting-off going on here. "Little dog with a tiny dick/ little dog will make you sick". "as long as you lift that little doggy face to here cold-hearted pussy". he actually said something like that. this shit is just so hysterical. i get it... the dogs are humans...humans are dogs. 8 minutes of them performing oral sex on each other. cause they're like.. the saaaame, man. i wish Valerie Solanis was still alive. i'd love to know what she thinks of all this... cause she thinks with bullets. "I AM AN UP WHILE YOU'RE A DOWN". is that supposed to be funny? Bestiality as an Allegory for Interpersonal Relationships... and this album still eats balls.

9. DRAGON - "HALUGH-SI-NAAAAAA-TION". okay, this is nothing. thought-deficient empty calorie light beer white cheese doodle nothing. Metal Machine Music was nothing, but it was nothing ON purpose.... WITH purpose. the point was pointlessness, here there isn't even that. THIS SONG IS ALSO 11 MINUTES. the part about biting nipples was kinda cool i guess... but you have to wade through all this mind-crippling flowery bullshit to get to the sadistic goodies Reed once let lead the way. i also think Ulrich has been playing the same beat for the whole record. seriously, one of the most uninspired drum performances ever. Lou Reed is talking about smelling arm pits. take that image to bed with you tonight... LAAAAAAAAAADIES.

10. JUNIOR DAD - bahaha best title ever. sounds like a movie Macauly Culkin and Woody Harelson would've done in 1993, directed by Amy Heckerling, with music by Katrina and the Waves. 19 MINUTES AND 29 SECONDS. that's not even the length of the latest Wormrot LP. i don't even know what's real anymore. i've listened to this whole damn thing. it sounds like some other song... maybe "UNFORGIVEN 5: THE SEARCH FOR GHOST DAD'S GOLD VS. PREDATOR THE QUEST FOR PEACE". sounds like an octogenarian pedophile with syphilitic scabs pocking his lymph nodes doing improvised karaoke over "Hero of the Day". now he talking about teaching a monkey to stop being blind. this is fucking crazy. i could love this if stripped away the camp-fire-under-the-liberal-arts-quad bunk and just did absurd shit like that. this shit is still going. now they're trying to be Godspeed! You Black Emperor. it's been cooler if they tried to be 1984. i mean, like whatever you want... but don't try and incorporate your recent musical interests into your sound when it doesn't fucking work at all. i like Janelle Monae, but i'm not gonna insist the Communion incorporate Android RnB elements into our sound (...except i am, but i digress). hollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit PLAY SOMETHING PLEASE THANK YOU. it's only a twenty minute song, guys. this song would only have been 19 seconds long without all this lame spacey atmospheric nothingness. but i'm sure boneheads will love it cause it's got the Metallica name on it, but if you played them any real ambient band they'd cal you a faggot while extending their long-sleeved-flame-job arms at you and flipping you off with a ring on their middle finger that is in the shape of a hand giving you the finger cause they're DOUBLE TUFF.

so yeah... that was that. worst thing i've heard all year. my brain is trying to escape through an invisible hole just above my left eye. spermless dog prostitutes are cutting off Boris Karloff's tits so prickless monkeys won't cheat on them with tables. done.

Physically Act on my Attraction until Death is Desired vol. 999

2011-10-24T10:56:00.000-07:00

i want everyone in that video in the bed of their vagina.

Horror Movie Trailer for the Week of 10/23/11

2011-10-23T07:35:00.000-07:00

POSSESSION (1981)

DVD or VHS @ Amazon

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 63

2011-10-16T10:44:00.001-07:00

Horror Movie Trailer for the Week of 10/16/11

2011-10-16T10:23:00.000-07:00

ALL NIGHT LONG (1992)

box set of first 3 films @ Amazon

Horror Movie Trailer for the Week of 10/9/11

2011-10-09T07:27:00.000-07:00

THE MUTILATION MAN (1998)

DVD @ Amazon

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 62

2011-10-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

NY State Senators Say We've Got Too Much Free Speech; Introduce Bill To Fix That

whelp thats the end of me.

full stupid report here; go to page four to see the word "BULLYCIDE" used non-ironically.

for seriously.

BULLYCIDE.

i mean look... i fucking hate bullies, but you're only making it worse.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 195

2011-10-08T12:46:00.000-07:00

R.I.P. David Hess

it should come as no surprise that i hold David Hess in very high regard. Perhaps more than any other actor, he defined what it is to be a greasy sadist in genre cinema. he was Mr. Blonde before Mr. Blonde, Zed before Zed.... shit pretty much any villainous pervert you see in a Tarrantino film was more than likely conceived with Hess' performances in Last House on the Left, Hitch-Hike, House on the Edge of the Park, even the otherwise campy Swamp Thing in mind.

Rest Well, Krug. make the angels piss their pants.

Horror Movie Trailer for the Week of 10/2/11

2011-10-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

All the Colors of the Dark (1972)

DVD @ Amazon

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 61

2011-09-30T11:48:00.000-07:00

14 Reasons People Are Occupying Wall Street

please read.

it's frustrating how the real fight in this country should not be democrat/liberal vs. republican/conservative, but the 1% vs. the 99%. it's frustrating that there are people out there who will write off these protests as "loony" leftist bullshit, naievly joining the side of those who really don't give a shit about them.

let's drop the right/left classifications once and for all and just look at the big picture;

we are struggling. there is next to no work, and the work we're "lucky" enough to find is no pay doing something we don't care about or hate entirely. we only serve to enrich those who already have the means to enrich themselves, debasing our quality of living for what amounts to the monetary equivalent of a Snausage. and for what? so Scrooge McDuck and Pennybags can have champagne and lobsters at lunch time? non-profit programs, education, hospitals, things that actually serve to develop and strengthen minds and bodies are being slashed to ribbons, yet the government refuses to ask the 1% to give up even a microscopic fraction of their earnings, earning which they use not to create jobs or stimulate the economy, but to fund their blatantly sadistic facial-in-the-eye-of-the-proletariat lifestyle.

it's not right vs. left anymore. it's us vs. them. don't hate you "ideological" opposition. don't hate your country. live with them. fight with them. live for them. fight for them.

as Buster Bluthe would say:

"come on you douchebags, we're all the same team!"

Fuck YOUR Life vol. 18

2011-09-17T08:39:00.000-07:00

Marilyn Manson - Born Villain Official Video by Flixgr

this is the Shia LeBouf (guwhaa??) directed video for Marilyn Manson's new single "Bor(i)n(g) Villain". apparently it's causing a bit of a stir due to the extreme nature of the visual subject matter.

any controversy this generates really should be derived from the fact that NOT ONE SINGLE IMAGE OR IDEA presented in this video is even remotely unique to the "auter's' vision.. Shia LaBeuf is not some in-the-closet goremeister surrealist, he's a thief. i lost count of how many things he was ripping off here, but i know that right off the bat he copied the opening scene from Alejandro Jodorowsky's the Holy Mountain (a film and a director who actually have an original thought from time to time), as well as several David Lynch tropes and other things that i've seen done so many times that the original source of the visual has been lost.

the whole really plays like mid 80s-early/mid 90s Apocalypse Culture having a mid-life crisis, straining to recapture what made it so visceral and arresting, but not having the will or the interest to come up with something fresh out of its influences. instead it just becomes overwhelmed by them, confusing larceny with homage and laziness with nostalgia.

plus the song is lame.

9/18 PS;

whaat... the fuuuck?

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 60

2011-09-15T05:32:00.000-07:00

"It would have been hard to find an uneducated farmer during the depression of the 1890s who did not have a very accurate idea about exactly which economic interests were shafting him. An unemployed worker in a breadline in 1932 would have felt little gratitude to the Rockefellers or the Mellons. But that is not the case in the present economic crisis. After a riot of unbridled greed such as the world has not seen since the conquistadors' looting expeditions and after an unprecedented broad and rapid transfer of wealth upward by Wall Street and its corporate satellites, where is the popular anger directed, at least as depicted in the media? At "Washington spending" - which has increased primarily to provide unemployment compensation, food stamps and Medicaid to those economically damaged by the previous decade's corporate saturnalia. Or the popular rage is harmlessly diverted against pseudo-issues: death panels, birtherism, gay marriage, abortion, and so on, none of which stands to dent the corporate bottom line in the slightest."

click if you like.

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! Omniubus

2011-09-11T08:19:00.000-07:00

so yeah, it's September 11th. i hear the sales are going to be AMAZING.

i mulled over what exactly to post here today, so i decided to just do a near-complete omnibus of all the USA!USA! posts from over the years. take a look at what exactly we believe;

pffff... homelessness is sooooooooo 4 years ago
as if you needed further evidence that Morgan Spurlock's need for attention is suicidal
remember Krispy Kreme?
falsifying the loss of your father? perrty kewl!
anything to make the world more resemble a John Waters film
what we're fighting for
i'm not your buddaye, gui
why so $eriou$?
throwing my votes away on Mayor McCheese
we love failure when its pretty and pretends it'll fuck us if we give it what it wants
you heard it here, gang... hamburgers are good for you
still waiting for my two dollars
if you want women, you must prepare for porn
i wahnt tuh hear ya screem
kind of a big deal
pretty sure i was fighting with my girlfriend when i wrote this
Keep the "Trampled to Death over toys" in "Christmas"
kick a young republican for your country
"MISS ME YET?" ..... Nope.
you're putting balls on your face
still better than Mayo
cause "making a statement" is less strenuous than looking for work
and setting rich people on fire is illegal WHY?
it's only anti-feminist if you're making fun of a cute republican
hope those Evanescence mp3 were worth it
like that part in Hostel, only about a milkshake.... and not sexy
so many Rights, you'll be begging for a Left
United States of Naughty America
you heard it here first....
how dare you try and make me not die!?
a song so shmaltzily patriotic it makes "Where Were You When the World Stop Turning" sound like a pro-abortion slam poem from a bisexual transgendered Muslim communist
cause when you say "messianic" they think Chuck Norris being sensually tortured by oily yellow people
someone owes Alejandro Jodorwsky 2 dollars for this one
hope those Crossfade MP3s were worth it
Barack Obama IV: The Quest for Peace
from the Mengle Buffet
pre-defecated
needs more needsmore
just keeping it real, Tatum O'Neil!
teach your children not watch people who tell you not to watch porn
Eew World Order
i declare this meeting of the midnight society crazy
KKK took my party away
you've already handicapped the sales in your desired demographic by calling it a "book"
belief we can change in
how that ""hopey changy"hopey changy" thing werkin owt?
life begins at the preservative-filled mayonnaise jar
opera box at the end of the world
don't retreat; RETARD!
real 'mericans go for the cheese (figuratively and literally)
what Black Sabbath is to metalheads, this is to tea-baggers
get a free sub with any purchase of 1 dead terrorist. chips and drink extra 2.50.
the redundancy of the phrase "honor rape"
we are we are the youth of the something something

bring on the coats

2011-09-03T07:55:00.000-07:00

so yeah... hasn't been a very productive summer 'round these parts. a long, miserable season that just doesn't seem to want to let the fuck go.

it's been one of a lot of stuff, though. reading a ton, watching a bunch, and listening to a lot. some stellar DVD releases (mostly from IFC) that i didn't feel like writing up, because it seems like every asshole with an internet connection and a Netflix account is a needlessly opinionated cinephilic jerk-off who can't help themselves but to tear apart every little thing they see as if it were a cotton candy autopsy. i don't have much of a desire anymore to lurk among those ranks. make up your own minds.

that doesn't mean i won't share my favorites of the summer, though;

MOVIES: Hobo with a Shotgun, Super, We Are What We Are, Coldfish, American: the Bill Hicks Story, Red White and Blue, Dream Home, the Image, Tetsuo: the Bullet Man

MUSIC: AOSOTH - III, AUTOPSY - Macabre Eternal, PRURIENT - Bermuda Drain, THE JOY FORMIDABLE - the Big Roar, NICOLE 12 - Black Line, SEWER GODDESS - Disciples of Shit, DRAINLAND - And So Our Troubles Began, THE MEN - Leave Home, EXHUMED - All Guts N Glory, WORMROT - Dirge

BOOKS: The Art of Cruelty by Maggie Nelson, Sky Burial by Dana Levin, Hogg by Samuel R. Delaney, the Eyes by Jesus Aldapuerta, Altman's Tongue by Brian Everson

i realize some of these weren't released this year (3/5 of the books), but these are what made my summer bearable.

as far as "dating", well i've mostly been ignored, promising-start-followed-by-being-ignored, and outright rejected. business as usual i suppose. still the big ball of confusion and insecurity that it always was.

didn't play out as much this summer, but the shows we did play were pretty awesome, getting to play with fucking monsters like THE KILL, CASTEVET, SETE STAR SEPT, NOISEAR. would've liked to get more done (mostly the recording), but with vacations, bad weather, dying automobiles, and so forth, it's been a hard piss trying to get it together, but it's not a huge deal... we all stay in touch, practice on our own, etc... and knowing that it's always on our minds is something to be satisfied with. so no real complaints there.

but yeah... bring on the coats.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 194

2011-08-16T12:40:00.000-07:00

Tsukamoto, Lanthimos, Toyoda And More In TIFF 2011 Visions Program

ALPS Yorgos Lanthimos, Greece/France (North American Premiere)
A nurse, a paramedic, a gymnast, and her coach have formed a secret, illegal company. The service they provide is to act as stand-ins for the recently deceased, for the benefit of grieving relatives and friends. The company is called "ALPS" and the ALPS members, taking inspiration from the life of the deceased, adopt their behaviours and habits, memorizing favourite songs, actors, foods, familiar expressions. Although the members of ALPS operate under a disciplined regime demanded by the paramedic, their leader, the nurse doesn't.

KOTOKO Shinya Tsukamoto, Japan (North American Premiere)
The story of a single mother who suffers from double vision; caring for her baby is a nerve-wrecking task that eventually leads her to a nervous breakdown. She is suspected of being a child abuser when things get out of control and her baby is taken away.

Not That I'm Bitter or Anything vol. 14

2011-08-11T11:57:00.000-07:00

feel like i'm bleeding inside my chest. like my lungs are melting or something. haven't written much here. haven't written much in general. hate summer. beyond sick of it. it's a rotting corpse at this point.

was told by a slightly overweight 19 year old girl that i wasn't attractive. that pretty much sums up all the rejections I've been experiencing lately. not because it matters or because it's the most destructive, but it is sort of the most blackly comical and humiliatingly debasing. that'll teach me to look past your shortcomings.

plus side of sexual frustration and female indifference; been reading a ton. Jean Genet, Jesus Aldapuerta, Samuel R. Delaney, Arthur Rimbaud, Maggie Nelson's Art of Cruelty is fascinating, as is Gates of Janus by Ian Brady. The Ultimate Dead Baby Joke Book is mostly retarded, but there was one joke i really liked, and plan to use at the next convenient uncomfortable silence;

Q: What's the difference between a peach and a dead baby?

A: I don't cum on a peach before i eat it.

done for mao.

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 59

2011-08-04T08:10:00.001-07:00

sorry i haven't been around. computer's been like ass on toast, worrying about potential job prospects, trying to find a woman who isn't a flighty headcase, and working on new ways of writing. music stuff too... a lot of reading, watching movies, listening to music... trying to maintain some sanity as the world melts like the street trash of the film which bears their name.

found this one, though;

8 Reasons Young Americans Don't Fight Back: How the US Crushed Youth Resistance

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 193

2011-07-07T13:19:00.000-07:00

Severin Films Horror Anthology THE THEATRE BIZARRE Trailer Premiere

by J Hurtado, July 7, 2011 3:09 PM

Severin Films all-star horror anthology, The Theatre Bizarre is set to premiere at Fantasia this year, and they've released the first official trailer. The Theatre Bizarre features segments directed by Douglas Buck, Tom Savini, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, Jeremy Kasten, Richard Stanley, and Buddy Giovanozzo and promises to be one of the most exciting horror films in recent memory. I'll let the trailer do the talking, though.

SEVERIN FILMS RELEASES FIRST TRAILER FOR HORROR ANTHOLOGY CO-PRODUCTION 'THE THEATRE BIZARRE' IN ANTICIPATION OF WORLD PREMIERE IN MONTREAL

Modern tribute to Grand Guignol features cult film icon Udo Kier and films by directors Douglas Buck, Buddy Giovinazzo, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, Jeremy Kasten Tom Savini & Richard Stanley

Los Angeles, CA --- Thursday July 7, 2011 --- Severin Films today announced the release of the first official theatrical trailer for the eagerly anticipated feature THE THEATRE BIZARRE - a modern horror omnibus inspired by the over-the-top shocks of Paris' early 20th century 'Theatre du Grand Guignol' - which will have its Gala World Premiere at the 2011 Fantasia Film Festival; in Montreal on July 16th at 9:20pm. THE THEATRE BIZARRE features horror icon and Hollywood character staple Udo Kier (BLOOD FOR DRACULA, SUSPIRIA, MELANCHOLIA) as the master of ceremonies in the framing story, set in a sinister old theatre, of six films by "horror's most adventurous minds," (Fangoria). THE THEATRE BIZARRE will also have its European Premiere at London's acclaimed FrightFest on opening night, August 25th.

The project's seven filmmakers, who were granted total creative freedom, have all made at least one modestly budgeted and internationally acclaimed movie in the horror field. The films of Douglas Buck include the 2003 Sitges sensation FAMILY PORTRAITS: A TRILOGY OF AMERICA and the recent remake of Brian DePalma's SISTERS. Buddy Giovinazzo exploded onto the genre scene with 1986's COMBAT SHOCK and went on to write and direct such features as the Tim Roth-starrer NO WAY HOME and last year's acclaimed ensemble drama LIFE IS HOT IN CRACKTOWN (adapted from his novel), as well as numerous works for German television. UK native David Gregory is the industry's foremost documentarian of horror films on DVD, and his 2008 feature debut PLAGUE TOWN was hailed as "a nightmare captured on celluloid" by Fangoria. In addition to writing and directing SUBCONSCIOUS CRUELTY and LA BELLE BÊTE, Karim Hussain is also an accomplished cinematographer whose features include HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN. Arguably horror's best-known special efects wizard for his landmark work on classics that include the original FRIDAY THE 13TH and DAWN OF THE DEAD - as well as a popular actor in such films as FROM DUSK TIL DAWN and MACHETE - Tom Savini directed the 1990 remake of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. South African born Richard Stanley is one of the genre's most distinctive talents, whose visionary cult classics include HARDWARE and DUST DEVIL. THE THEATRE BIZARRE marks his triumphant return to horror for the first time in 18 years. Directing Kier in the film's framing segments, writer/director Jeremy Kasten was the filmmaker behind the very Guignol-esque remake of Herschel Gordon Lewis' THE WIZARD OF GORE.

"The idea for THE THEATRE BIZARRE was hatched when I was editing a DVD featurette for the 1990 art-house portmanteau ARIA, directed by Jean Luc Godard, Robert Altman, Nicolas Roeg, Ken Russell and others," explains producer and Severin Films CEO David Gregory. "Horror anthologies have a rich history dating back to the silent era, and include classics like DEAD OF NIGHT, BLACK SABBATH, SPIRITS OF THE DEAD, THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD, CREEPSHOW and more. I felt that the notion of giving filmmakers a general concept, the same budget and complete creative control would lend itself perfectly to a modern horror film. In my opinion, there is no other genre where unleashing the unrestrained creative ideas of filmmakers could redeem such an outlandish array of stories and images."

Severin Films, founded in 2006 with offices in Los Angeles and London, has been called "well on its way to becoming the greatest indie label of all time" by BlogCritics.org. Their DVD and Blu-ray releases include Alejandro Jodorowsky's SANTA SANGRE, Jess Franco's MACUMBA SEXUAL and BLOODY MOON, Walerian Borowczyk's IMMORAL WOMEN, the unrated Director's Cut of Just Jaeckin's GWENDOLINE, Richard Stanley's restored HARDWARE, Enzo Castellari's original INGLORIOUS BASTARDS, Oscar®-nominee Patrice Leconte's THE HAIRDRESSER'S HUSBAND, Don Sharp's PSYCHOMANIA and Roman Polanski's WHAT? Severin's upcoming HD restorations include Richard Rush's Academy Award® Nominated THE STUNT MAN, Ted Post's THE BABY, Eugenio Martín's HORROR EXPRESS and Peter Duffell's THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD. The company's theatrical releases include BIRDEMIC: SHOCK AND TERROR, and DEVOLVED.

The Theatre Bizarre TRAILER from Severin Films on Vimeo.

Fuck YOUR Life vol. 17

2011-07-02T09:25:00.001-07:00

who needs KING SHOT or AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS when this is on the fast track?

The "Angry Birds" Movie Begins Flying

kill the world.

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. 11

2011-07-01T10:51:00.000-07:00

Flesh-Eating Cocaine Hits New York, Los Angeles (PHOTO)

In a case study in the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology, Craft describes six cocaine users recently plagued by the dark purple patches of dying flesh. And while they happened to hail from the country's coastlines, the problem is national.

But drug cartels in South America increasingly prefer to use levamisole, a veterinary antibiotic normally used to deworm cattle, sheep, and pigs. It's not clear why dealers don't just use baking soda all the time, although studies in rats suggest that levamisole might tingle brain receptors in the same way cocaine does. If that's the case, adding it to the supply might be a way to enhance the effects of cocaine on the cheap.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 192

2011-06-29T11:17:00.000-07:00

Transformers: Bark of the Moon - intellectual apocalypse/lingerie commericals

First, they fought their enemy. Then, they fought their adversary. Now, they face their greatest challenge; a villain.

once again, Imaginary Robot Army one fights Imaginary robot army two in the conclusion to Michael Bay's (Used Trojan) Magnum Opus; TRANSFORMERS. Shia LaQuiff returns with a different hot girlfriend, the same annoying parents, and other aggressive obnoxious caricatures that exist only in the minds of the most hateful of teenage child-boy.

Oh, and there's robots too.

This time, we learn that the moon is filled with Decepticons, and they've decided to break free (even though i don't think they were held captive, but whatever) and construct a robot bridge that will connect Earth to Cyberton, allowing them the turn earth into a more giant robot friendly place to live. how is this different to the plot of the first film? well... there's a bridge... and Cycloptic newbie named Shockwave with his giant mechanized tapeworms that burrow into the earth and facilitate the transformation from not-robot to robot.

i think the Russians are involved somehow....but who cares? you're gonna go see it cause you're stupid, masochistic, and don't give a shit about anything beyond temporary removal of your psychological troubles. Truth is... i don't care either. I didn't even watch the fucking thing. I was going to, but after the first two i just don't have it in me anymore. This review is based solely on my impressions of the first two movies and the general consensus of those of you whose brains aren't calcified butt-smoke.

yeah yeah i know... "it ain't Shakes-Spear DURRHURRHURRHUR". you stupid fucking animals who drop that anti-observational chestnut every time something retarded is called out for being something retarded can fuck your reverse-souls into uterine scalding bonedust. these aren't stupid movies because they're based on a line of toy cars who turn into robo-samurais. they're stupid movies because they're stupid movies. with the right kind of writing, acting, directing, etc... even the most ridiculously vapid ideas can be turned into something that is at the very least watchable. Is it really too much too ask that these people, who are being given sums of money that probably didn't even exist 40-50 years ago to make something that other people will spend their hard earned dollars to view... y'know... decent? maybe not be such money-grubbing cynical assholes and actually work on making something that at least attempts to be greater than the sum of its parts? take a little pride in your work, perhaps?

no? fine. good. go fuck yourself.

i'm through. i don't need to see it. i know what it is. It's the same revolting gear-and-oil kaleidoscope of indecipherable FX, USA A-OKAY sanctimony, and toy ad cynicism as before. there's even an awful Linkin Park single to tie it all together. seriosuly... i fucking loathe this band. they're not even Nine Inch N'Sync anymore... just fucking N'Sync, but i digress.

please watch something good.

FxMxLx vol. 28

2011-06-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

The Wild Wild World of MissAsssnatch

The shots are literally fired from the hip in this cavalcade of boundary-transgressing, provocative and X-rated video works by the mere 24 year old, renowned, American video and performance artist, MissAsssnatch, who here invites the audience on a wildly voyeuristic trip to the darkest nooks and crannies of a deviant woman's mind. MissAsssnatch doesn't tell any stories, but instead uses the film medium as point of entry to a mythological reality known from the YouTube generation. Through 16 beautiful, seductive and often shockingly perverse art films, we follow the young and beautiful MissAsssnatch at close range during bizarre auto-erotic or sadomasochistic rituals, LSD trips, near death experiences and demonic possessions. The ambiguity is palpable, and everything is left open, as though these were brief glimpses through the keyhole to a forbidden world. In MissAsssnatch's film, elements from silent films, pure cinema and the French new wave are mixed with Alfred Hitchcock, undisguised fetichism and pure rock 'n' roll. It is pure visual voodoo, created to seduce, shock, repel and excite.

'The Wild Wild World of MissAsssnatch' was made in collaboration with the Danish producer and curator, Alexander Natas. The film contains strong erotic scenes and is not for the faint-hearted!

YouTube ch.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 191

2011-06-18T16:57:00.001-07:00

every theater in America should replace their screenings of the Green Lantern with this;

Grand Guignol! It's the North American Trailer for Álex De La Iglesia's THE LAST CIRCUS

by Kurt Halfyard, June 16, 2011 2:38 PM

Comedy, Continental Europe & Russia, Cult

One of my favourite films on the festival circuit last year was Alex de la Iglesia's masterpiece, The Last Circus (aka Balada Triste) an allegory of Franco era Spain re-envisioned as an absurd killing joke by way of a grotesque opera. Of bread and circuses! Think Alejandro Jodorowsky with geek-ier sensibility (and a bit more of an understanding on how to get a performance from his actors) and a whopping sized budget. Destined not to find a wide audience, but instead be wholeheartedly embraced by a fervent cult following, The Last Circus is as 'Twitch-y' as films ever come. I love how this trailer plays out somewhere in the middle ground between Se7en and Life is Beautiful. Go Spain.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 190 / Fuck YOUR Life vol. 17

2011-06-07T07:33:00.000-07:00

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE: FULL SEQUENCE Banned Outright By The BBFC

by Todd Brown, June 6, 2011 11:40 AM

In the UK and awaiting your chance to see the sequel to Tom Six's cult hit The Human Centipede (First Sequence)? Well, unless the BBFC have a radical change of heart it aint going to happen. Not by legal means, anyway. Not ever. The British Board Of Film Classification have rejected the film outright, calling it "sexually violent and potentially obscene" in a way so pervasive that it cannot even be remedied by cuts. Though the filmmakers have six weeks to appeal, if the decision stands it means that the film cannot be sold legally within the UK. Here's the complete judgement, but be aware that it does contain spoilers:

"The first film dealt with a mad doctor who sews together three kidnapped people in order to produce the 'human centipede'of the title. Although the concept of the film was undoubtedly tasteless and disgusting it was a relatively traditional and conventional horror film and the Board concluded that it was not in breach of our Guidelines at '18'. This new work, The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence), tells the story of a man who becomes sexually obsessed with a DVD recording of the first film and who imagines putting the 'centipede' idea into practice. Unlike the first film, the sequel presents graphic images of sexual violence, forced defecation, and mutilation, and the viewer is invited to witness events from the perspective of the protagonist. Whereas in the first film the 'centipede' idea is presented as a revolting medical experiment, with the focus on whether the victims will be able to escape, this sequel presents the 'centipede' idea as the object of the protagonist's depraved sexual fantasy.
The principal focus of The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) is the sexual arousal of the central character at both the idea and the spectacle of the total degradation, humiliation, mutilation, torture, and murder of his naked victims. Examples of this include a scene early in the film in which he masturbates whilst he watches a DVD of the original Human Centipede film, with sandpaper wrapped around his penis, and a sequence later in the film in which he becomes aroused at the sight of the members of the 'centipede' being forced to defecate into one another's mouths, culminating in sight of the man wrapping barbed wire around his penis and raping the woman at the rear of the 'centipede'. There is little attempt to portray any of the victims in the film as anything other than objects to be brutalised, degraded and mutilated for the amusement and arousal of the central character, as well as for the pleasure of the audience. There is a strong focus throughout on the link between sexual arousal and sexual violence and a clear association between pain, perversity and sexual pleasure. It is the Board's conclusion that the explicit presentation of the central character's obsessive sexually violent fantasies is in breach of its Classification Guidelines and poses a real, as opposed to a fanciful, risk that harm is likely to be caused to potential viewers.
David Cooke, Director of the BBFC said: "It is the Board's carefully considered view that to issue a certificate to this work, even if confined to adults, would be inconsistent with the Board's Guidelines, would risk potential harm within the terms of the VRA, and would be unacceptable to the public.
"The Board also seeks to avoid classifying material that may be in breach of the Obscene Publications Acts 1959 and 1964 (OPA) or any other relevant legislation. The OPA prohibits the publication of works that have a tendency to deprave or corrupt a significant proportion of those likely to see them. In order to avoid classifying potentially obscene material, the Board engages in regular discussions with the relevant enforcement agencies, including the CPS, the police, and the Ministry of Justice. It is the Board's view that there is a genuine risk that this video work, The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence), may be considered obscene within the terms of the OPA, for the reasons given above."

now from A Serious Question about Censorship:

Should the ability to see a woman sexually humiliated - in this case surgically altered and anally raped by a man whose penis has been bound by barbed wire - in the name of entertainment be protected by law?

do i really have to explain this again?

seriously... how many times are we gonna have this tired-ass debate?

director Tom Six says this;

“Thank you BBFC for putting spoilers of my movie on your Web site and thank you for banning my film in this exceptional way,” director Tom Six said in a statement. “Apparently I made an horrific horror-film, but shouldn’t a good horror film be horrific? My dear people it is a fucking movie.”

for you.

NERRRRRRRRD!!! vol. 34

2011-06-05T14:04:00.000-07:00

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS - 8.5 (hovering around 9)/10

wow.

question; where was this X-MEN movie 10 fucking years ago????

there was nothing in the trailers, promo materials, or television spots that even hinted at this being anything more than a glorified pilot for a sitcom. i've never taken more pleasure in eating my own words. its awesomness came out of nowhere, and it's nice to have been so very very wrong about where this franchise was headed. it's like ordering Dominos Pizza and getting a classic NY pie delivered to you by three beautiful women.

as commendable as Bryan Singer's X-Films were, Matthew Vaughn revealed their flaws through his own work; the main being Singer's unwillingness to embrace the more colorful aspects of the X-Men Mythos. that example was followed through the dreadful Last Stand and Origins: Wolverine, where the seemingly innumerable characters that popped up every five seconds were clad in non-descript denim 'n leather ensembles that, while taking things a bit more "seriously", ultimately had the effect of forgetfulness, as characters no longer stood out from one another. that isn't the case with First Class. here the classic blue and yellow suits are put to use, and yes, they look better than black leather onesies. Vaughn seems to also have some working knowledge of many different eras of the books, and moreso than any previous film makers in the franchise, brings them to life with taste, tact, and joy.

oh and mild SPOILERS; you will see hands down tail up the BEST Wolverine moment yet to be put to film. hopefully we'll see more of this Logan and less of the love-lorn romance novel cover boy in the future. and the final moment of the film is destined to become a classic of comic book cinema iconography. and thank fucking christ we were delivered from the awful fake Emma Frost of the Wolverine movie and given something closer to the beauty of the comic book counterpart. I don't think much of January Jones as an actress, but i kinda liked her aloof performance of Emma Frost. in many ways, it's better than if she overdid the vampiness or the iciness... cause you don't really know how she feels. I dig that she seems so bored with everyone around her... that she can even bother to be mad or intrigued by what's happening. does it have something to do with the fact that probably every mind she reads says "god damn i wanna make that pussy hurt"? probably... but i digress.

after careful deliberation, i've come to the conclusion that this is the perfect X-MEN film. It's smart, colorful, character driven, occasionally fap-worthy , peppered with relevant cameos, and makes you want more while feeling like a full meal. it also boasted a much stronger script that confronted the civil rights allegory of the series without being glowering and self-important about it.

and this is one of the best themes ever... so perfect. epic, mechanical, and makes the world seem inferior.

now don't fuck this up... again.

Fuck YOUR Life vol. 16

2011-06-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

here is Neil Hamburger's article that was pulled from Vice Magazine. given the average Vice subscriber, you can understand why;

MY POINT OF VIEW - A DISTRESSING ODOR

Hello from room 109 at the American Motel in beautiful Pixley, California. As “America’s Funnyman,” I’m very excited about the opportunity to earn cash writing this new column. My fans know that I am the hardest-working comedian on the circuit, doing nearly 400 shows last year alone. However, fans who have seen legal documents from the divorce and bankruptcy proceedings against me (sold on commemorative hamburger-shaped 2GB flash drives by an unscrupulous souvenir vendor in the parking lots of the venues that hosted my shows) know that my live performance income is garnished by my creditors. It is through side jobs—such as writing this column, stuffing envelopes, or washing cars—that I am able to stay somewhat afloat. I am thankful for this opportunity.

Alright then. Anyone in the field of law enforcement knows firsthand that the preferred deodorant of date-rapists is AXE. Their abrasive advertisements are targeted to the types of young men who rove in drunken packs looking for something—anything—to do with their penises. Judging from the noxious, prurient nature of their recent campaigns (a barrage of leering references to “cleaning balls” and “dirty gear”), AXE is completely tapped into the language and lifestyle of these dunced-out amateur pharmacists. This particular demographic blew out their nasal glands years ago, and thus is not instantly offended by the “extreme” scent of the chemical slurry that AXE cooks up in their hell-factory… a fetid, sugared-and-fermented-manure stench, which acts as a virtual mating call to the TV-addled, party-fried pig girls whom these dopes are trying to fill with their tainted seed.

AXE’s master chemist seems to be developing their various fragrances by dumping varying amounts of Hawaiian Punch and/or Country Time Lemonade into the trough-style urinals at Dodger Stadium during the top of the 9th inning—the end product an amalgam resulting from the capture and replication of the the resulting combination of odors. The product’s appeal would seem limited to the unintiated, yet, almost as a challenge, AXE’s cynical marketing team is set on expanding their market beyond the lucrative world of beat-driven dolts. These “pied pipers of shit” hope to convert innocents through flashy free entertainment, lending their name and money to dubious “viral” comedy videos—recruiting third-string (one step up from me) comedians to disgrace themselves in vaguely obscene short films.

AXE recklessly attaches their brand to movie premieres, snowboarding events, comedy tours, and musical concerts, trying to latch on to any pre-existing cache created by the artists themselves. (I use the term “artist” very loosely when referring to the clowns associated with the “AXE Concert Series;” most of these bands have long since lost their artificially created mini-buzz and are now better suited to a career disposing of postanalysis stool samples.)

It is a sad fact of modern society that the visual artist has been unfairly marginalized. In order to commemorate this medium, and in keeping with the spirit of good-natured fun and light-hearted ribbing that has characterized my relationship with our friends at AXE, I am curating and judging an Unofficial AXE-Themed Art Competition. We are asking artists to submit original artwork incorporating 1) AXE products, and 2) images of authentic sexual predators procured from the National Sex Offender Registry website. [Please do not include the names or locations of the sex offenders in your artwork.] Everything can be submitted electronically via links posted on Twitter and hashtagged “#FunArtContest.” The prize, if any, is a combination of personal satisfaction, and soap and washcloths, perhaps autographed by celebrities who are part of the anti-AXE movement. This contest is unofficial, unaffiliated with Unilever and/or AXE, and is not to be confused with existing authorized promotional campaigns for AXE deodorant. Complete details at twitter.com/funartcontest.

NEIL HAMBURGER

http://twitter.com/neilhamburger

Read the rest at Vice Magazine: MY POINT OF VIEW - A DISTRESSING ODOR - Viceland Today

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 189

2011-05-22T08:30:00.000-07:00

Trailer and Poster Alert: GUT Intrigues

by Charles Webb, May 21, 2011 6:14 PM

Writer/director/producer Elias' film Gut is in post-production, but he was kind enough to send along the trailer for this thriller that seems to have elements of anything between Hardcore and A Serbian Film. This indie starring Jason Vail, Nicholas Wilder, and Sarah Schoofs is about the perils of going too far down the sketchy boredom hole when curiosity and boredom catch up to you.

Here's the official synopsis:

Something is missing in Tom's life. His marriage has lost its spark, his job is suffocating him, and his childhood best friend Dan still clings to the past. Every day he goes through the motions, becoming increasingly detached from those around him. Dan has the solution... something Tom's got to see to believe... tonight. What Dan shows him leaves Tom unsettled, flooding his mind with disturbing images, and binding the two friends together with its ugly secret.

You can find out more about the movie on its official site.

Gut - trailer from Gut Productions, LLC on Vimeo.

NERRRRRRRRRRRD! vol. 33

2011-05-21T09:03:00.000-07:00

first shot of Tom Hardy as Bane in Christopher Nolan's the Dark Knight Rises.

i dig the idea of making the mask more of a cross between a muzzle and the ninjas from Mortal Kombat. more practical and jarring than a Lucha-Libre mask or an S&M hood.

Not That I'm Bitter or Anything vol. the 13th part 7898988875786838985: Jason vs. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

2011-05-13T13:29:00.000-07:00

so yeah... i'm back to that. waiting to get my new password that i forgot emailed to be because the fucking ASSCONE that is Firefox crashed AGAIN as i was in the middle of doing my profile.

Yesterday i did an enire post about the amazing French Hardcore band KICKBACK that got erased because Blogger did a surprise! buttsecks! on me.

fucking internet is breaking.

Does God Have a Crush on Us? vol. 6

2011-05-13T10:28:00.000-07:00

Cannes 2011: JODOROWSKY'S DUNE Underway at Last!

by Peter Martin, May 12, 2011 10:39 PM

Documentary

It's a documentary and not the full-blown narrative feature we've craved for decades, but at last a full accounting of Alejandro Jodorowsky's unrealized version of Frank Herbert's "Dune" will see the light of day. Titled Jodorowsky's Dune, the documentary is being directed by Frank Pavich and is already well underway.

The news broke earlier today (thanks to a tweet by Travis Stevens, who's serving as one of the film's producers), at trade publication Screen Daily (subscriber only) and The Hollywood Reporter. Interviews in Europe with Jodorowsky, the great designer H.R. Giger, and "other surviving members of the original team" have been completed, according to THR, and the filmmakers are now moving to the U.S. to complete the second half of the production.

Way back in the mists of time, I attended a book signing by Frank Herbert at A Change of Hobbit, a bookstore in the Westwood neighborhood of Los Angeles. Mr. Herbert, who was kind, friendly, and down to earth, was asked about a movie version, and he said he was excited that Jodorowsky was in the midst of preparations. At the time, as a budding cinephile, I had no freakin' idea who this "Jodorowsky" was, but if Mr. Herbert gave him his stamp of approval, I figured I better find out, which led me to El Topo and The Holy Mountain and a whole other region of phenomenal cinema.

Personal stories aside, tidbits about Jodorowsky's version have leaked out over the years. For example, Hasko Baumann's breezy and informative Moebius Redux: A Life in Pictures, which I reviewed when it played at Fantastic Fest in 2007, included looks at some of the concept art created by Jean Giraud. But now, we'll get the whole story.

Pavich previously made N.Y.H.C., a raw, honest, well-made look at the underground hardcore music scene, and so I have high hopes for Jodorowsky's Dune. While we wait, check out the "Unseen Dune" section of the site Dune Behind the Scenes.

And for further commentary on the project, rejoice that our friend Grady Hendrix wrote an entire article about at his fine website, complete with commentary, cast breakdown, images (one of which we have borrowed) and insight.

-------------

Well this almost makes up for fucking Blogger running on Dunkin IE. powdered eggs and empty calories.

Not That I'm Bitter or Anything vol. 12

2011-05-11T12:27:00.000-07:00

over at Logica Incubo Gola Cazzo i've been doing sort of a spring cleaning/full body shedding of much of the lyrics I've written since 2007. i was able to distill over 100 songs into 20. feel sort of accomplished. maybe now i can move on to new ways to say "girls make me nervous". you're not interested in that stuff anyway.

also been dieting. not sure if i look better, but i don't feel quite like i've been gang raped by C.H.U.Ds. anymore, so that's something positive... unless you like getting gang raped by C.H.U.Ds, in which case i wouldn't recommend it.

i wanna have choreographed knife/gun fights to this song. or if you prefer the Clueless-of-its-Irony video, here you are.

recent musical discoveries that i should've been listening to a long time ago;

EMPLOYER, EMPLOYEE
BLACK MOTH SUPER RAINBOW

if could write music, it would sound like a mix of the two. be grateful.

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. 10

2011-05-09T20:31:00.000-07:00

Virginia girl found eating herself in cage in mobile home; parents Brian and Shannon Gore charged

A young girl was found caged and attempting to eat herself in a mobile home in Virginia, and cops say her parents are responsible.

The malnourished girl, believed to be either 5 or 6, was discovered in a crib that was converted into a makeshift cage after police arrived at the home in Gloucester County to investigate a burglary last week.

The girl's parents, Brian and Shannon Gore, were arrested and charged with felony child abuse. The mother was also charged with attempted capital murder.

However, the gruesome twosome now faces first-degree murder charges after the remains of what authorities believe to be another child were found buried outside their mobile home.

"I've done this for 20 years, and I've never seen anything like this in my life," Gloucester Sheriff's Maj. Darrell Warren said.

A month-old baby boy was also found in the home, but was in good condition. Both he and the older girl are now in the care of the county Department of Social Services.

Authorities arrived at her mobile home in Gloucester with a search warrant when they made the shocking discovery.

The girl's blond-hair was matted and filled with knots. She wore only a diaper and t-shirt and was eating flakes of dried skin on her body.

Brian Gore, 29, reportedly told police the girl had been kept in the cage since the summer.

"It was horrific. I don't know what else to say," Lt. Scott Little of the Sheriff's Department told Virginia's Daily Press on Friday.

"They seemed like nice people," neighbor Tim Hudnall told the newspaper. He noted he had seen the baby boy, but never saw a girl with the Gores in the six years they've been neighbors.

"He was really a nice guy," Brian Gore's ex-girlfriend, Sandy, told WTKR 3 News in Norfolk. "He went to church and everything."

Deputies discovered the child's remains while digging under and around a shed at the mobile home Friday evening. The age, gender and identity of the remains are not known, pending an examination by the state Medical Examiner's Office.

The Gores are being held in prison as authorities determine how the child died. An autopsy report by the state medical examiner is pending.

Jsme díry ozubeného kolečka objemu sto osmdesát osm

2011-05-09T06:58:00.000-07:00

Svankmajer Adapting Karel Capek's THE INSECT PLAY

by Todd Brown, May 8, 2011 1:15 PM

NERRRRRRRRRRD!!!!! vol. 32

2011-05-06T13:27:00.001-07:00

THOR - 8.5/10

Marvel continues to translate their near 50 years of cannon to the big screen with Kenneth Brannagh's THOR, a more-than-acceptable addition to the other lead-ins to next summer event film AVENGERS.

Unlike last summer's IRON MAN 2, THOR doesn't feel like a place holder, nor does it lean on the existence of prior/upcoming films for its own strength. it's epic, colorful, tastefully paced, well-acted, and treats the characters (which are a touch more regal and pompous than other Avengers) with dignity and respect. Oh, there are Easter eggs (SPOILER HIDDEN); the brief but bad-ass debut of Jeremy Renner's Hawkeye and a post credit sequence involving the Cosmic Cube but they are little treats rather than 10lbs of re-fried chicken skins in a 5lb greasy bag. The focus is entirely on developing the main characters (Thor and Loki). by film's end, they are both changed, and it's refreshing to see especially a villain with this many dimensions.

Sure, Loki is the grand daddy of all pathological liars, but he's not some cackling helium voiced vulture faced caricature of an arch-enemy. True to his nature, Loki's motives are never truly revealed to those around him or the audience. Though Loki doesn't seem to enjoy doing the things he does, he does not entirely reject them, either. He's just doing what he is meant to do as the God of Mischief; create chaos. INVISIBLE SPOILER: and if the post-credit scene is any indication, Loki may have gleefully come to terms with his deviousness, making him all the more deadly.

I don't feel like re-hashing the plot, just go see it, geek out over Tandabou Asano's big budget debut, swoon over Kat Dennings' sardonicy sardinicous sardony (what it is with me and milk-white chocolate haired blank-voiced jewish girls i'll never know), flash the horns at the mother fucking DESTROYER, and enjoy.

Zalgoat will Rupture the Mind-Hymen

2011-05-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 58

2011-05-06T05:13:00.000-07:00

251 Members of Congress voted to "redefine rape." Was yours one of them?

can you give me a hand with all this freedom?

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 57

2011-05-02T06:48:00.000-07:00

"Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of al Qaeda, and a terrorist who’s responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women, and children...

Today, at my direction, the United States launched a targeted operation... A small team of Americans carried out the operation with extraordinary courage and capability. No Americans were harmed. They took care to avoid civilian casualties. After a firefight, they killed Osama bin Laden and took custody of his body...

Americans understand the costs of war. Yet as a country, we will never tolerate our security being threatened, nor stand idly by when our people have been killed. We will be relentless in defense of our citizens and our friends and allies. We will be true to the values that make us who we are. And on nights like this one, we can say to those families who have lost loved ones to al Qaeda’s terror: Justice has been done."

-- President Barack Obama, May 1st, 2011

not much else to say, right now... 'cept nothing brings people together like the murder of a super-villain. so for now, we'll all forget that our economy has been massacred, that our food is slow murder, that gas pumps are now sanctioned muggings, that the population is frothing at the mouth over things that don't matter (birth certificates, alternate realities, gay weddings, migrant landscapers) while the 4% percent in this country with ALL the wealth are clutching on to it like Scrooge McDuck as they masturbate furiously to the erosion of the classes below them, that Donald Trump is considered a viable option for the President of the USA, and 2 Jersey Shore cast memebers are on the New York Times best seller list.

take us home, PIl;

ps:

oh my god....

.... FREE SUB!!!!!!!

Double You, Tea F. vol. 115

2011-05-01T07:32:00.001-07:00

think i need a break from this feature for a while. it takes way too long to do and it's getting stale for me (and probably you). every fucking retard with a computer posts this glibly nihilistic crap. if i see something that really strokes my laughter shaft, i'll post it, but i'm not gonna keep being a 25th generation 4-Chan knock-off.

speaking of which.....

dawn of a new day, bros and she-bros. welcome to May.

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 56 / Fuck YOUR Life vol. 16

2011-04-27T12:22:00.001-07:00

you.

know what that is?

HUHHHH?????

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. 09 / Song for the Week of 4/17/11

2011-04-21T13:22:00.000-07:00

6 arrested in teen's murder

Authorities have arrested six people in connection with the killing of a 15-year-old boy whose body was burned and shoveled into paint buckets. Authorities said he was severely beaten, shot multiple times with a .22-caliber handgun, beaten again and, after showing signs of life, shot another time. the body was dragged into a bathtub, where they broke the victim's kneecaps with some type of object. he was then hog-tied and placed in a sleeping bag, which was carried into the backyard and burned in a fire pit. Using bleach, the suspects cleaned the house, and then shoveled remains from the burn pit into several five-gallon paint buckets.

FxMxLx vol. 27

2011-04-18T11:58:00.000-07:00

DAISY LOWE

looking at this woman confirms that i am 99.9% meta-libidinous hyper-violence.

go go gadget cuuuuummmmm.

MOAR

Esquire woman we love - Daisy Lowe from esquireuk on Vimeo.

They Don't Have a Name For It vol. 18

2011-04-17T10:29:00.000-07:00

YELLOW DINO: PEDO HUNTER from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 187 (on an undercover cop)

2011-04-13T11:50:00.000-07:00

Review: Scre4m is the y3ar’s w0rst f1lm

Scre4m is like a thousand amateur Freudians queefing in an echo chamber and then discussing it for the next hour. It is an amazing combination of ambitious, pretentious, narcissistic, and idiotic. It is a remedial-English class slam poem. This is a film in which each character can reference every horror film franchise and plot cliché of the last 60 years, yet seem totally unaware when they’re actually executing one. It is a film shamelessly aspiring to meta post-modernism in which Anthony Anderson plays a sassy black deputy who exclaims “DAMN!” unironically. It is boring, pointless, obnoxious, and terrible. One scene involves, I kid you not, DUELING WEBCAMS.

----------------

HA to the HA.

proof that no matter how bad horror has gotten or will get, NOTHING will ever be as awful as the late 90s Ironic Slasher craze. i'll take torture porn and misguided remakes over this winky glib-for-the-sake-of-being-glib 90210 bullshit any day of the week.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 186

2011-04-01T07:49:00.000-07:00

The HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN Delivers Justice And Bloody Carcasses In New Red Band Trailer

by Todd Brown, April 1, 2011 5:35 AM

Jason Eisener's Hobo With A Shotgun hits VOD in the US today with a US theatrical release following in early May and to properly prepare audiences for the coming onslaught of blood and one liners Magnet Releasing have created a new Red-Band trailer for the film.

Yes, this has a lot of blood in it.

No, it does not even begin to spoil the film's biggest moments.

A train pulls into its final station and a Hobo (Rutger Hauer) hops from a freight car. He has dreams of a fresh life in a new city, but finds himself trapped in an urban hell instead. A city where criminals rule the streets, landlords evict single mothers in the middle of the night, and where the city's crime boss, The Drake, reigns supreme with his sadistic, homeless-killing sons, Slick & Ivan. Through the chaos, the Hobo comes across a shop window displaying a second hand lawn mower and a shotgun, and decides it's time to cut the grass, make the city beautiful and start a new way of life. But after witnessing the brutality that encompasses this city, he realizes the only way to make a difference in this place is with a gun in his hand and two shells in its chamber.

This film is big screen madness on a scale seldom seen. Check the new trailer below.

Double You, Tea F. vol. 114 (Rater's Gonna Rate)

2011-04-01T05:36:00.001-07:00

Rater's Gonna Rate.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 185

2011-03-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

not-quite micro-review

SUCKER PUNCH (aka RAPE IS IMMINENT: THE MOVIE) - 5/10

i'm split on it... i thought much of the fantasy / geek elements were well rendered and exhilarating, the girls were all sicknice (when did Donnie Darko's girlfriend become a hardbody? holyfhghghghgfffffffffffffffff)... that aspect of the film was where it shined. but it succumbs to to the same problems many fantastical/surreal movies fall into when they try to sell themselves to the general public; they attempt to apply a narrative that explains the images rather than letting the viewer just take them in, and the explanations more often then not either fall into on-the-nose symbolism or power-draining nonsense.

while the attempt at being something more is commendable, Sucker Punch is not intelligent enough to support such stabs at psychological allegory. the movie is at its strongest when its being a naively misogynistic mix-tape of various geek cultures, and it should've forgone the "go to your happy place" dream within a dream wrap-around device and just created a genre mash-up imagination land filled with wild characters, over-the-top set pieces, and no explanation.

It's the same way i felt about the Cell and the Fall. It's a total cop-out to just say "well durdeedur it's all in her head". right, cause a hot 19 year old mega-blond is going to imagine mowing down Zombified Steampunk SS Troopers while her luscious Asian BFF is clad in a slutted up military uniform and flies around in an ED-209 with anime rabbits painted on it? i mean, i don't wanna be presumptuous here, i know girls are into this stuff too, but i just don't believe that this particular character has the imaginative capacity to conjure up Samurai Golems with Gatling Guns from her sub-subconscious to run from the sexy dance routine she's being forced to do IN HER BRAIN'S HAPPY PLACE? and the aforementioned happy place is a White Slavery Bordello run by Madame PolishHottie and Bromez Addams?

i guess it could be saying that there really is no where to run, and turning too much into yourself cuts you off, rendering you useless to those around you.... but in a film whose main selling point was gorgeous girls in fetish gear having machine-gun fights with Glow-in-the-Dark Androids and pissed off Mother Dragons... i'm not looking for something deeper. i mean, it's nice that you want to have a brain in your head, but you gotta learn to crawl before you learn to clumsily crash into a pile of psychology text books.

it's like going to the Bunny Ranch to "party" with Mika Tan and Isabella Soprano, and all they wanna do is talk to you about classic literature and music history; yeah, that's great and all... but i'm here to get this erection nursed, not learn something new about myself and the world around me. if i'm here i already know the truth... that i'm a slovenly pervert with the blooming libido of a 12 year old comic geek whose been granted unsupervised internet access for the first time. and you're hot and you're battling magic robots while "Army of Me" blares on the stereo. that'll do, movie.

so all in all... it's not an unlikeable movie. it's worth a viewing for the fantasy sequences and the stellar production design. it just would've been better if it didn't try to make sense of it self. also the pg-13 rating really held it back in terms of the potential sexiness, but whatever. gotta catch pedophiles somehow. anyways... whenever it tried to get "clever", all it did was become more stupid and aggravating. i didn't think it was a completely unlikeable movie, it just would've been a lot better if it didn't try to explain itself and stayed an over-the-top dumb action fantasy with cute girls fighting random amalgams of geek shit. kind of like how cool The Cell would've been, just replace geek shit with morose high art shit.

i dunno... Netflix it i guess.

ps:

holy fucking WANT.

NERRRRRRRRRD! vol. 31

2011-03-17T18:55:00.000-07:00

Aronofsky Drops Out Of WOLVERINE

whelp... there goes any hope of this project not freebasing rectal grindings.

"didn't wanna leave the country". i call bullshit on that one... given Fox's track record with this franchise, maybe Arronofsky felt it best not to stain his surgical implements with this particular back alley abortion.

grumble.

Fuck YOUR Life vol. 15

2011-03-17T06:32:00.000-07:00

... no, this isn't some CollegeHumor.com send up. this is for real. meet Rebecca Black

even Pedobear would say no.

makes Ke$sha sound like Maria Callas, don't it (or at least a little less like Crispin Glover doing a Robitussin Colonic Karaoke rendition of a Willa Ford song while dressed like the lost Olsen triplet left to die in the dumpster behind a Persian Bath House)?

to call this "insipid" would be a detriment to the word. the death rattle of anecephalic harlequin babies trapped in a burning nursery filled with kerosene blankies still would not illicit the pained expression cutting canyon-deep lines into my skull as i see/listen to this razor-wire dial tone.

aaaand here's the ironic screammetalcore cover;

EDIT: Speaking of Meh$Ha;

....yeah....

....Not Quite....

NERRRRRRRRRD! vol. 30

2011-03-15T17:39:00.000-07:00

David Slade to Reboot Daredevil

though he's (regrettably) best known for one of those shitass Twilight movies, David Slade also directed Hard Candy, the Ms. 45 of the Myspace Generation (and Ellen Page's breakout role), so this new is so far so good. Script and cast are next.

Daredevil deserves a good movie. hopefully this will be it. and what the hell, here's some lame ass fantasy casting;

Michael C. Hall as Matt Murdock / Daredevil

i can't think of a better catholic vigilante than the star of Dexter. just the right balance of unflappable idealism and brooding vengeance.

Olga Kurylenko as Elektra

the hottest Bond Girl since... probably ever. the hottest anything since anything ever. exotic and alluring, she would further reveal Jennifer Garner to be the Dudechinned Dudeface that she's always been.

Dean Winters as Bullseye

he played crafty Irish thug Ryan O-Riley for the entire run of HBO's OZ, and as Daredevil's charmingly violent arch-villain, Winters could fully go into his morbidly amusing side without all the baggage and family drama.

Stephen Graham as the Kingpin

I know he's a bit svelt to play Wilson Fisk, but watch him in the brilliant This is England or as Al Capone on HBO's fantastic Boardwalk Empire, and you'll see that all it would take is some clever camera tricks and body padding to turn him into one of the most imposing and deadly comic book villains of all time.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 184

2011-03-08T07:28:00.001-08:00

BEAST’S FLASHBACK: Re-visiting the Un-visited, ANGST (aka FEAR or SCHITZOPHRENIA) (1983)

another write-up on shit you don't care about.

Ми смо задњих ланчаника рупе Волуме Оне осамдесет три

2011-03-07T08:02:00.000-08:00

The Sitges Festival And Director Angel Sala Charged With Exhibition Of Child Pornography For Screening A SERBIAN FILM

by Todd Brown, March 5, 2011 10:18 PM

Some disturbing news out of Barcelona today with word that the Sitges Film Festival - one of the oldest, largest and most respected genre film events in the world - and its director, Angel Sala, have been charged with the exhibition of child pornography in connection with a screening of A Serbian Film at the 2010 edition of the festival.

Now, don't get me wrong, A Serbian Film is shocking and extreme cinema and designed to be so. But child porn? That is absolutely ridiculous - the scene that tends to get people worked up occurring entirely offscreen with the violence implied and not actually depicted - and I can only hope that the courts recognize it as such and throw the case out.

There have been rumblings that something was coming down the line after subsequent screenings of the film were banned in Spain but this is excessive in the extreme. Sala and the festival could be facing jail time and / or a fine if convicted.

----------------------------

of course you know already how completely fucking ridiculous this whole thing is, but whatever. Regardless of how you feel about this film (and i know most of you despise it with near-violent virulence, in some cases without having seen the fucking thing, but i digress), this is just a complete insult to all involved.

Spoiler; NO CHILDREN OR INFANTS WERE RAPED DURING THE MAKING OF THIS FILM. IT'S A MOVIE, ASSHOLES.

i know every child, real or theoretical, is a puppy-kissed angel cloud of unbridled dreaming innocence who should never under any circumstances be faced with any sort of truth about life and death, but this is not a movie for children, nor is it aimed at children, nor are children the center of its thesis. this isn't about wall-to-wall kid-fucking. the children are more-or-less a metaphor for the destruction of purity... all the bodies in this film represent that. it's similar to Passolini's Salo or Cannibal Holocaust in that regard. it's not about entertainment. you're not meant to be aroused or excited by what's happening in front of you. It's not a celebration of violence but an indictment of humanity.

i know whenever an artform actually attempts to comment on something, it's written off by the blank-voiced void-junkies as being "pretentious" or "in love with itself", but that's more a problem with today's film viewer than with films themselves. we're so accustomed to everything being entertainment for entertainment's sake that whenever something comes out that stirs up some sort of actual reaction in us, we're shocked to see that we haven't completely anesthetized ourselves to the point of full body nerve damage, and we don't like it, so we lash out at these things for daring to be effective rather than conceding to be thoughtless.

I'm not suggesting that A Serbian Film is anything more than a really strong horror film... it's those who hate it that think it's something it isn't.

but most of you are genuinely excited for Scream 4 or Scre4m or whatever bullshit Craven is limping to the barn with, so what's the use of all this passion when you've already made up your simple minds?

grow the fuck up.

Fuck YOUR Life vol. 14

2011-03-06T07:24:00.000-08:00

BILL MAHER: Charlie Sheen Is Sarah Palin On Cocaine

"I don't care. I mean, you know me, I've been a social libertarian. I don't care if you do drugs, I don't care if you have goddesses... skanks. But all this talk from Charlie about how he's tired of pretending he's not a rock star from Mars. Dude, you're on Two And A Half Men. You're on, like, the lamest sitcom ever. This is what no one is talking about. How can you be this cool if the central thing you do is not that cool? 'I have tiger's blood and Adonis DNA and normal brains can't process me.' You play Uncle Sleazy on "Bringing Up Chunky". That's what you do for a living. 'I'm an F-18 that will melt your face off.' No, you're on CBS. The old person's network. So, you know, can we stop all the talk about 'magic in my fingertips'? You know, magic is Shakespeare and Leaves of Grass and Stanley Kubrick. Who gives a fuck what happens to Two and a Half Men? This movement. Oh yes, write your network executives and your Congressman cause if we don't have a ninth season of Two and a Half Men, art will die.

And America said forget Wisconsin, forget the Middle East. Charlie Sheen is coming off a coke high, it is funny. It is funny that he keeps waving a paper saying he passed a drug test. How is that good for his image? It just mean he's like that sober? He said, one interviewer said, "Are you bi-polar?" He said, “I'm bi-winning. I win here and I win there.” So yes, it's childish, it’s needlessly defensive, it makes no sense. So if you ever wondered what it would be like if Sarah Palin was on coke...."

The Last fucking word on the more-over-prescribed-than-Ritalin "meltdown" of theoretical bad-ass / avarice conduit / syndicated suck job Charlie Sheen.

Shut up, Mom! vol. 1

2011-03-04T07:13:00.000-08:00

Why The King’s Speech Proves The Oscars Are Irrelevant

"oh but THE KING'S SPEECH was sooooo good! it's so nice to see a movie that doesn't rely on sex or violence or adventure or excitement or any of that nonsense that gets in the way of my Disney-owned sensitivities."

"Shut Up, Mom!"

STREBERRRRR! Volumen 29

2011-03-03T11:49:00.000-08:00

Red Schädel

FxMxLx vol. 26

2011-03-03T07:46:00.001-08:00

i knew there was a reason for me wishing i looked like Paul Rudd.