Not that I'm Bitter or Anything vol. 5

consider me on the Janelle Monae bandwagon. the ArchAndroid puts the last decade and 1/2 of pop music in its place, saving us from the Titney Spearses and the Ladyboi Gagas that have turned music into the kind of idiot parade whose rape of taste and intellect borders on pornographic snuff. I think what i like most about her is the fact that while she takes from a dizzying array of sources both conceptually and musically (Michael Jackson, Fritz Lang, Klaus Nomi, James Brown, Stereolab, Outkast, Bowie), it's all done in such a tasteful, artful fashion that it becomes its own entity; paying respect to the past and taking the past to new and exciting places, never becoming overwhelmed by its influences. In a perfect world "Tightrope" would've been the song of the summer heard in Best Buys 'round the country and Katy Perry's execrable borefest "Cahl-Eh-Four-Nya Guhrls" would've wallowed in dank obscurity, wading in a puddle of piss like the tattered sundress of a missing child.

Fuck YOUR Life vol. 11

this is the Plasmatics on tv in 1981;



this is Lady Gaga trying to be the Plasmatics in 1981 in 2010.... and failing fucking hard.


also it's hilarious how the celeb-obsessed masturbation packs of the "blogosphere" are so eager to nail their action figures to the cross that they'll blow a minor flub up out of proportion in hopes that the hissing mincing masses of the e-...tabloid hive-mind's subconscious sewer will ready to arms and pounce on their false idols at once in a scatological-of-the-mind gorgy that would make Herman Nitsch turn away in revulsion.

These fucking idiots should be offended by Lady Gaga's bold lack of creativity and tasteless theft of artists who were truly confrontational and cathartic, whose visual and aural representations of themselves served to enhance each other, the mind that bore them, and the people who simultaneously witness and experience the work. That's something you can't find in Gaga's artistically/intellectually crippled odes to telephones and cock.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 159

TIFF 2010: Extreme Kink In Midnight Madness Selection RED NIGHTS

by Todd Brown, August 19, 2010 3:00 PM

[Updated with an updated trailer.]

It seems that every year there is at least one film that hits the TIFF Midnight Madness program seemingly out of nowhere. Julien Carbon and Laurent Courtiaud's Franco Hong Kong co-production Red Nights is one of those films. Here's how programmer Colin Geddes describes it:

A pulpy, fetishistic thriller, Red Nights marks the startling directorial debut of Julien Carbon and Laurent Courtiaud, best known as the screenwriting team behind Hong Kong director Johnnie To's thriller Running Out of Time. Red Nights also boasts the long-overdue return of Hong Kong starlet Carrie Ng, famous for her sexy and deadly presence in such films as Naked Killer and Sex and Zen. Here she revels in her role as the jade-clawed Dragon Lady, equal parts seductress and psycho-sexual killer.

A box containing a white jade seal rumoured to have belonged to China's first Emperor falls into the hands of Catherine (Frédérique Bel), a mistress who takes the valuable artifact to Hong Kong in the hopes of selling it. In Hong Kong, Carrie (Carrie Ng), a wealthy patron of the arts, mounts a production of The Jade Emperor - the tale of the first Emperor's executioner, who used a deadly poison to paralyze his victims while simultaneously enhancing their sensations. Carrie is single-mindedly obsessed with finding this ancient poison. When it becomes apparent that the white jade seal contains a vial of the elixir, Catherine finds herself caught in Carrie's sadistic web, where bliss and pain are blurred into a twisted, forbidden ecstasy.

Got your attention? The trailer will.

Fuck YOUR Life vol. 10

I hate you, I hate you, and I don't even know you and I hate your guts. I hope all the bad things in life happen to you, and nobody else, but you. And as I stand here sippin' the soda that I'm sure somebody spit in, I just wanna say yall can kiss my ass you rotten motha-fuckas.



amen, Silky.

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 45

KFC’s new ‘Skinwich’

say hello to your lower intestine as it leaks in a black trail from betwix your swollen rear-globes, down the swollen shanks to congeal into a puddle of abdominal puss that eats away at your feet.

i'm convinced that their next sandwich is just going to be 2 giant cyanide capsules covered in knee scabs.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 158

micro-reviews;



LONG KHONG 2 a.k.a. ART OF THE DEVIL 3 - needles holding open your eyes/voodoo abortion :

AOTD 2 was one of the grisliest, most deliciously unpleasant films to come from the continent of Asia. AOTD 3 makes it look like Romona and Beezus. Perverse, misanthropic, and sadistic beyond most realms of possibility.




EX-DRUMMER - 8.5/10:

If a Jesus Lizard album was turned into a slasher movie, it would be EX-DRUMMER. Fun, violent, experimental, occasionally surreal, often pornographic... everything good punk rock should be.



TONY- 8/10:

An unemployed social retard collects action films on VHS and murders some dudes. The film drops you right into the middle of the characters bleak existence, offering little in the way of a past or a future. its all in this moment. very interesting character study. put it alongside Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Angst, and other minimalist meditations on brutality and isolation.



SMASH CUT - 8/10

Fun and bloody homage to Hershel Gordon Lewis, the original "splatter" director. The only thing that the film needed was to look more like a HGL film in terms of cinematography. it nailed everything else from the performances to the FX to the way actors are framed in the shots, but the look of the film was a touch too contemporary. still it looked like everyone was having a ball with this, and its nice to see David Hess in something watchable again.



THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO - 5/10:

Really not seeing what is so mindblowing about this. sure it has its rough moments involving rape and Nazis and goth kids and etc, but when you take away that stuff its no different than any movie Ashely Judd did in the 90s. It's a foreign film for people who don't watch foreign films so they can act like their hot shit because they watched something with subtitles. boring, unoriginal, and kind of a dick about it.



THE WAYWARD CLOUD - boingoingoingoing/oingoingoingoing

Insanely sexy and sexually insane... and mind-fuck with an emphasis on the "Fuck". who wants some watermelon?

Not that I'm Bitter or anything vol. 4

people who quote song lyrics in their Facebook statuses are banal incubuses. You're not deep and your everyday "struggles" involving not fitting into a pair of pants or running out of caramel coffee creamer are not being reflected in the words of whatever 90s one-hit wonder you think is poetic. You're just a tasteless miserable identity-lacking drama queen and no one is impressed that you remember the words to fucking Soul Asylum song. listen to SWANS and get the gun, faggot.