We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 197

KEN RUSSELL: 1927 - 2011

the first "weird" movies i remember seeing were those of Ken Russell. deliriously hallucinogenic... gleefully satanic.... the world always seems just a little more boring after experiencing one of his celluloid trips. but don't take my word for it... the pictures speak for themselves;









ps: just found this out

Fuck YOUR Life vol. 20

Happy Fucking Thanksgiving, you mealy mouthed cuntdrippings.... you dysentery fart clouds... you shame-raped pube raisins.... you ass hair lined sperm maggots.... you intellectually amputated menstrual blood shot gunning toenail warts.... you embryo molesting shoe horn tongued bliss killing prick hags... you fact hating anti-literates....and the horses you rode in on... except replaces "horses" with "sheep" and "rode in on" with "piledrived with your microwave-accident of a cock".

ps: you're also gay.

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 64

i'm sure most of the people championing the cops were listening to Rage Against the Machine 15 years ago.

i suddenly want something very bad to happen to everyone.

this will not be a well-rounded write up. this is pent up aggravation. pure and simple.

another reason discussions always remain at a stalemate in this country is because someone comes along and says "well i didn't see ***** getting pissed back when ****** did ***** to the ******", which turns into two pages of people talking about shit that happened 17 years ago, avoiding the current issue entirely. this came to me as watched a discussion about the occupy movement turn into a libertarian spear-headed debate about Waco and Ruby Ridge (absolute abortions of justice in their own right), where a pissed off humorless one-track-minded libertarian (i'm beginning to wonder if there is any other kind) wanted to steer the hot-button issue back towards his own agenda, which is all anyone can seem to do anymore.

yes... the government does horrible, knee-jerk, misguided attacks on people who subvert from the norm, as do some of these cops and the higher-powers of the Free Market. why should one allow the other? why should anyone have to get attacked if they are not attacking?

on that note;

NERRRRRRRD! vol. 35

Empire has the first official DARK KNIGHT RISES cover photos of BATMAN & BANE!

ps: with the "talkback" of that piece, fanboy criticisms and knee-jerk contrariness have officially fallen into a "HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON" realm of hive-mind.

long story short;

if you think Tom Hardy is wrong for the role of Bane, watch BRONSON. he plays a brute who spends the bulk of his life in prison.... just like Bane.

if you think Anne Hathaway is wrong for Catwoman, watch HAVOC. she plays a sexy-but-intelligent tough girl who fucks around to the dangerpoint. just like Catwoman.

if you think Bane is "too small", take the time to actually OPEN UP A COMIC BOOK and you'll see that when Bane isn't jacked up on Venom, he's roughly the same size as Batman.

if you think Catwoman is a "shitty character"... i don't know what to do with that one. i guess if your only exposure to the character was the Halle Berry movie, i can see why you'd be so damn stupid... other than that i'm at a loss. is it that girls just ruin you're super-hero fantasies? cause i don't know about you... but after 2 Batman films with next to no women, i need some eye-candy. sue me.

"but SHE'S NOT TEH HOTTORZ ENOGUH FOR MEES!!!!". oh sure... that statuesque physique... that flowing brown hair... those full lips that when parted in a room-lighting grin reveal a perfect set of gleaming white teeth... those big dark eyes.... put all that in a form fitting black leather catsuit and you have a recipe for HUUARRRF.

keep in mind.... much of the negativity has been from on-the-set cellphone spy-pics and NOT anything official. the point is moot, though... as we're all going to see this.

and about Bane's look... i really like it. not just being Devil's Advocate, either. i love the cross between gas mask and muzzle. it actually looks like something that serves some sort of purpose beyond being scary-looking. much like Ledger's Joker, it seems like a smoothed out mash-up of all of Bane's looks from comic, television, toy, and video game incarnations of the character.

i dunno.. i'm psyched.

11/22 edit:



some more tidbits (nothing too spoliery) here

i really like the "COME AT ME, BRO!" pic in that article.

Does God Have a Crush on Us? vol. 7

Richard Stanley Penning THE SECRET LIFE OF LORD MUSASHI For Takashi Miike

Titled The Secret Life Of Lord Musashi there is a strong possibility that this is an adaptation of the 1931 novel of the same name by Junichiro Tanazaki, in which the author claims to have discovered secret documents detailing the masochistic sexual preferences of the samurai warrior who wrote the famous book of tactics, strategy and philosophy The Book Of Five Rings.

.....

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 196

French Trailer For Maury And Bustillo's LIVID Arrives

really happy to see this is hitting the light of day. some of the reviews have been mixed, but that's bound to happen when you follow up a mammoth like Inside.

Fuck YOUR Life vol. 19

LOU REED & METALLICA - LuLu track breakdown

http://www.loureedmetallica.com/listen-to-lulu.php

1. BRANDENBURG GATE - "I would cut my legs and tits off / if i thought of Boris Karloff".... alright. sounds like a Jock Jam version of Angels of Light. Hetfield is going "Small town GUURRRRRRRRLah" in between Reed being drunk. that's the whole song, basically. like for 4 minutes, Reed and Hetfield-ah going SMALL TOWN GUUURRRRRL.

2. THE VIEW - sounds like a LOAD... that's it.. a load. but seriously, it's like a sub-mediocre slam poem with a warm-over Reload riff (JUST ONE RIFF...FOR 5 MINUTES... oh wait here comes a slightly different one). Hetfield is the root or something. Reed just went "WORSHIP! WORSHIP!". Hetfield is the table. i'm not kidding. he said I AM THE TABLE. more than once. I AM THE CHESS BOARD. I AM THE GAME OF TWISTER. I AM THE CANDYMAN VHS YOU FOUND AT GOODWILL.

3. PUMPING BLOOD - oh good, violins. after saying "Pumping Blood" like 12 times, Reed asks... "Pumping Blood?" as if to say "are we really doing this?". the gyst of this song is blood is pumping. holy shit it just more spoken-wordy. if you made a drinking game out of this song... you'd be an asshole who makes drinking games out of shitty records. Reed just said "Dog Prostitute". now that i can get behind... in every sense of the phrase. AHHH. oh dear this one is like 8 minutes. remember when Metallica wrote songs? remember when Lou Reed wrote simple, powerful songs about interesting shit? they snuck in a thrash part, but it makes no sense... but this whole thing makes no sense.i'm tuning out and imagining a Dog Prostitute.

4. MISTRESS DREAD - is that Judge Dredd's secret lover? nah.. she spells it differently. more half-baked speed metal with goth-kids-from-South-Park poetry. i actually wish there was more weird lyrics like "Dog Prostitute" and that "Tits and Karloff" thing. it's better than this "blood, girl" bullshit. jesus CHRIST this shit has been going on for 5 minutes. and there is still like 3 minutes to go. these are some of the most annoyingly hacky lyrics ever.

5. ICED HONEY - i actually really like that title for some reason. sounds like Charles Nelson Riley singing for Seven Mary Three. actually that would rule, so no this doesn't sound like that. so we're using honey jars and butterflies as metaphors for lady parts. that's like a 11th grade poetry workshop no-no. Hetfield says "Iced Hon-AAAYYYYYYYY-ah". this is the man who wrote "Battery". Trapped Under Iced Honey. AHHHHHHHH.

6. CHEAT ON ME - beginning sounds like wannabe King Crimson something-or-other. why couldn't Reed collaborate with them? at least Robert Fripp still knows what is and isn't complete horseshit. 11 COCK MINUTES. don't you steal "Cock Minutes" from me. i mean it. "Why do you cheat on me?. why do I cheat on me?" that's some next level pop-psychology 40 years ago. Reed just said "C'mon!". and now Hetfield is asking 'Why do i Cheat on Me-ah?". i'd like to think they're singing this to each other. so yeah, nearly twelve minutes of grown men asking why they cheat on each other. so Metallica is just a jam band now? and Reed is a passionless slam poet? and i'm going to kill myself while this album plays just so they can get sued for it? i'm cheating on life with a noose. DEEP.

7. FRUSTRATION - opening actually sounds okay. then come the fucking Creed riffs. "Frustraion-ion-ion-ion". "i cry icicles"... eeeeegh. "you and your prickless lover" is okay. song is fucking HILARIOUS at the 2:40 mark and beyond. "SPERMLESS LIKE A GIRL". i'd actually like to hear Brainbombs cover this song... mostly because i'd rather be listening to the Brainbombs right now. this song might be passable if it was just the creepy parts and the spermprick parts and none of this "My Lexicon of Hate" bullshit. great, now they're trying to be the Doors. and here comes the Black Album table scraps (more like WACK album durhuruhururhuurhur). "MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME SPERMLESS LIKE A GIRL" ("spermless like a girl" being his pet name for Lars). i'm convinced Metallica just goes with whatever will make Robert Trulio do his ape-walk deal.

8. LITTLE DOG - more Swans/Angels of Light biting-off going on here. "Little dog with a tiny dick/ little dog will make you sick". "as long as you lift that little doggy face to here cold-hearted pussy". he actually said something like that. this shit is just so hysterical. i get it... the dogs are humans...humans are dogs. 8 minutes of them performing oral sex on each other. cause they're like.. the saaaame, man. i wish Valerie Solanis was still alive. i'd love to know what she thinks of all this... cause she thinks with bullets. "I AM AN UP WHILE YOU'RE A DOWN". is that supposed to be funny? Bestiality as an Allegory for Interpersonal Relationships... and this album still eats balls.

9. DRAGON - "HALUGH-SI-NAAAAAA-TION". okay, this is nothing. thought-deficient empty calorie light beer white cheese doodle nothing. Metal Machine Music was nothing, but it was nothing ON purpose.... WITH purpose. the point was pointlessness, here there isn't even that. THIS SONG IS ALSO 11 MINUTES. the part about biting nipples was kinda cool i guess... but you have to wade through all this mind-crippling flowery bullshit to get to the sadistic goodies Reed once let lead the way. i also think Ulrich has been playing the same beat for the whole record. seriously, one of the most uninspired drum performances ever. Lou Reed is talking about smelling arm pits. take that image to bed with you tonight... LAAAAAAAAAADIES.

10. JUNIOR DAD - bahaha best title ever. sounds like a movie Macauly Culkin and Woody Harelson would've done in 1993, directed by Amy Heckerling, with music by Katrina and the Waves. 19 MINUTES AND 29 SECONDS. that's not even the length of the latest Wormrot LP. i don't even know what's real anymore. i've listened to this whole damn thing. it sounds like some other song... maybe "UNFORGIVEN 5: THE SEARCH FOR GHOST DAD'S GOLD VS. PREDATOR THE QUEST FOR PEACE". sounds like an octogenarian pedophile with syphilitic scabs pocking his lymph nodes doing improvised karaoke over "Hero of the Day". now he talking about teaching a monkey to stop being blind. this is fucking crazy. i could love this if stripped away the camp-fire-under-the-liberal-arts-quad bunk and just did absurd shit like that. this shit is still going. now they're trying to be Godspeed! You Black Emperor. it's been cooler if they tried to be 1984. i mean, like whatever you want... but don't try and incorporate your recent musical interests into your sound when it doesn't fucking work at all. i like Janelle Monae, but i'm not gonna insist the Communion incorporate Android RnB elements into our sound (...except i am, but i digress). hollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit PLAY SOMETHING PLEASE THANK YOU. it's only a twenty minute song, guys. this song would only have been 19 seconds long without all this lame spacey atmospheric nothingness. but i'm sure boneheads will love it cause it's got the Metallica name on it, but if you played them any real ambient band they'd cal you a faggot while extending their long-sleeved-flame-job arms at you and flipping you off with a ring on their middle finger that is in the shape of a hand giving you the finger cause they're DOUBLE TUFF.

so yeah... that was that. worst thing i've heard all year. my brain is trying to escape through an invisible hole just above my left eye. spermless dog prostitutes are cutting off Boris Karloff's tits so prickless monkeys won't cheat on them with tables. done.