Thursday, March 15, 2012

Monday, March 5, 2012

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 68

Wisc. Republican’s bill condemns single parents for ‘child abuse and neglect’


i'm now thoroughly convinced that the Republican Party has become a Kaufmanesque practical joke.

Friday, March 2, 2012

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 67

"Why do you grant a BULLY special status upon his death?"

-- Andrew Breitbart, via Twitter, reacting on August 26th of 2009 to the death of Ted Kennedy

I won’t pretend I’m upset that conservative shock-trooper Andrew Breitbart passed away. The guy who elevated himself into legitimate debates through unbridled bigotry, vitriolic disgust over anyone with an even cursory contradiction to whatever it was he believed to be true, and oh yeah, penning a carelessly hateful reverse-eulogy to Ted Kennedy days after his passing (not that i think that was "bad"... i agree with the above quote in its principle, which ironically, can be applied to Brietbart himself). I’ll give the guy his due for staying true to himself (though who knows who is under the TV eye), but come on conservatives, I’m supposed to feel bad that this guy died? If Matt Taibbi dropped dead tomorrow, you’d cum on your copy of Atlas Shrugged…. Moreso. So let’s drop the shit, mmkay?

But Andrew Brietbart was merely a symptom of the disease that has eroded journalistic discourse in this country for the last decade. Despite his undeserved sense of accomplishment and reflux-belching self importance, the guy was little more than another media junkie desperately howling for his attention-fix. He’s cut from the same cloth as Anne Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, etc (and their liberal counterparts Ariana Huffington, Al Franken, Chris Matthews, etc.). they are the needy nightmare siblings of political discussion, saying “Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!” over and over until your nerves are shaking to the point of flaking into the air and the veins in your eyelids are vibrating like a Jayden Cole-manned Sybian whose controls are in the hands of a hyper-active pervert on coke. Finally, exhausted from the lung-sanding screams bouncing off the walls in your head, you turn to them and say “WHAT!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!?” They then walk away with a misguided sense of pride because, despite saying nothing of merit, or even born out of fact, they hijacked the attention of the grown-ups, and now instead of discussing things that matter, we’re talking about their baseless fantasies of being persecuted by the Liberal Democrat Commie Nazi Police State.

And Anti-God help you if you dare to call these individuals on their near-intentional logical fallacies. You’ll be shouted down, accused of being a zombified bongo-blasting loony goon who is still being held under the socialist voodoo of President Screaming Jay Stalin and his Liberal Media Legion of Doom. This Bad Guy Wrestler mentality now finds it way into for-real politics, with candidates like Rick Santorum shying away from talk of job growth and plans for socio-economic stimulation and instead steering the clown-car wheel head first into the Jesus Tree, casting himself as the super-hero man who can reclaim 1950s America from Hitler Satan (aka President Obama) and his demon brood Lord Abortion and the Porno-Sirens, who will outlaw success, discontinue the Bible, replace bullets with birth control pills, sanction crib death, and force the kids they don’t kill with mandatory gay marriage to go to COLLEGE and read BOOKS.

I’m not saying Breitbart caused this, but he was certainly part of this, and he spread the disease further. I don’t know if I have any hope that we’ll ever get Intellectualism back in this country, but who knows.

RIP i guess.

PS: Ted Kennedy WAS an asshole. and he killed a girl.