Friday, December 24, 2010

Brainmares vol. 16

the head of a St. Bernard is found in the backyard, impaled on a giant novelty pencil. no one knows what happened. there's a mechanical humming and a large burnt-paper brown Pegasus circling the air, wild and lost.

yay cough syrup.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 174

Sundance 2011: Kevin Smith's RED STATE Teaser Is Looking Good.

by Todd Brown, December 23, 2010 2:56 PM

It feels like a very back-handed compliment to say that the just-released teaser for Kevin Smith's new horror picture Red State looks and feels nothing at all like a typical Kevin Smith film. But however people may respond to that the simple fact is that the teaser for Red State looks and feels nothing at all like a typical Kevin Smith film. If it didn't have his name on it I'd never have guessed this was from Smith at all, in fact.

A savage commentary on the American far right using the Westboro Baptist Church at least to some degree as its template this is a story of American conservatism gone horribly wrong. It looks to be edgy, disturbing stuff and if the film lives up to this teaser then Smith may very well have just reinvented himself. Check it below.

Red State - Coming 2011 from Red State on Vimeo.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 173


BLACK SWAN - 10/10:

"It was perfect" - Nina.

i may get dismissed by the wannabe cinephiles out there, but this may be Arronofsky's best work. a beguiling blend of psychosexual noir and methodical body horror amounting to an eye-opening allegory on what it means to go deep into those places you'd perhaps rather not explore. even if you can't appreciate what a fine piece of work this film truly is, at least you get to see this this girl chow down on this girl.


if the family from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre made snuff films, this would be it. a surprising little sleeper of a gore film, with all the sadism Asia can muster.


Cold and brutal, a some appropriate companion piece/atmospheric counterpoint to Refn's previous dose of deliriously theatrical criminal masculinity BRONSON. fuck Nu-Conan.

RAMPO NOIR - 9/10:

masterfully perverse cinematic ode to the great Japanese ero-guro author Edogawa Rampo, whose penned such classic pieces of sadism as Moju: the Blind Beast, Horrors of Malformed Men, Gemini (all of which have been turned into classic films) and many many others. in this anthology film, four of Rampo's stories are adapted with feverish glee;

Mars Canal: the quietly (literally) harrowing opening segment.

Mirror Hell: the only weak link. a rather pedestrian detective story.

Caterpillar - now we're talking:
A war hero returns home with no limbs and only his eyesight remaining. His beautiful wife, tired of taking care of him, turns to torturing her crippled husband for amusement.

Crawling Bugs - the incredible dream like closing number:
A sexy actress is returning home from a successful night on stage, until her limo driver decides that she should be coming home with him.

it's a shame when incredible films like this go unnoticed while dopey crap like Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl sucks up all the attention, but what are you going to do, eh? (yeah... i saw that one. no... i don't feel like reviewing it).

POLA X - 8.5/10:

One of the most original films you'll ever see. exists in a class of of it's own.. with a fucking INCREDIBLE soundtrack by Scott Walker.

FEED - 6.5/10:

I dunno... i admire the film for having a sick idea and some icky visuals to go along with it, but it gets bogged down when it tries to be something more than just a gross out flick. i didn't buy the villain's existentialism and the protagonist was too much of a fucking asshole. i'd like to see someone take this concept and really make a strong film with it, cause this ain't it.


too fucking sexy for the room. i can't find the scene online, but in this movie, Carla Guigno goes into graphic detail about having an anal induced orgasm. needless to say i masturbated with my own tears that night.


the Suicide Girls are fucking pantywaists.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

NERRRRRRRRRRD!!!!!! vol. 26

Clive Barker's HELLRAISER Arrives at BOOM! Studios

By Press Release
posted: 13 December 2010 02:46 pm ET

December 13, 2010 – Los Angeles, CA – This March, Hell comes to BOOM! Studios as master of horror Clive Barker writes the newest chilling installment of his signature creation with the new HELLRAISER ongoing series! Joined by co-writer Christopher Monfette and HELLBLAZER artist Leonardo Manco, Clive Barker’s HELLRAISER #1 features covers by Tim Bradstreet and Nick Percival. The release of HELLRAISER #1 ongoing will be joined that same month by HELLRAISER: MASTERWORKS VOL. 1, the first in a series reprinting the hard-to-find Marvel Comics-era Hellraiser stories.

more in the link.

Monday, December 13, 2010

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 172


by Niels Matthijs, December 13, 2010 8:54 AM

Ho-Cheung Pang (Isabella, Exodus) is building himself quite a cult following. He's somewhat of an oddity in Hong Kong, working in genres that are not among the most popular over there, but the man has a unique and detailed style that grants his films a broader appeal. With Dream Home he takes on the American slasher and turns it upside down, keeping all the good stuff and enriching it with his own particularities. The result is once again more than enjoyable.

You don't see much slasher films in Hong Kong. Apparently people running around with knives gruesomely killing others isn't much of a spectacle over there. Those expecting a true genre flick might end up a little disappointed though. While all the necessary ingredients are here, the filler is quite different indeed. In between all the killings, Pang's style and themes rise to the surface to turn Dream Home into a true Ho-Cheung Pang film.

click the link above for full review.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 52

"Lacking left-wing chops, Obama has made the long road to retaking the White House even longer, and I won’t buy into the bullshit ever again. Perversely, I’d like to see Sarah Palin take the helm in 2012, if only to watch Democrats light the fire, as they seem to be at their best when there isn’t a chance in hell their ideas will actually see the light of day. And Palin would make America fun again, if only because she’d at last fulfill our subconscious national desire to reward Miss America not only with a tiara, but the keys to the kingdom as well. Hell, we’re on the decline, spinning ‘round the toilet of our nightmares, so why not finish us off at last with a well-stacked scarecrow who substitutes winking for actual thought?"

Matt Cale once again summing up my political views better than i ever could.

Brainmares vol. 15

working on a script/storyboard for a SPIDER-MAN graphic novel/possible film. It opens with a dream sequence involving Peter Parker in the shower while a pregnant Gwen Stacy sleeps. there is a flash of Felicia Hardy in the shower with Parker, fondling him. Suddenly, Hardy turns into Green Goblin on his glider, in which he proceeded to kick Parker's ass (it should be noted that Parker's body is tattooed with the webbing of his costume, with trickles of blood dripping from the inline). Parker runs back into the room where Gwen is sleeping and slams the door. He turns around and finds Venom hunched over Gwen. her belly as been ripped open and Venom is eating her baby, fondling her intestines as he dines. that's about as much as we got, but the plan was that this would lead to a re-imagining of Carnage, in which the symbiote is injected directly into Cletus Cassidy's system rather then attached externally, slowly transforming him ala Cronenberg's the Fly.

so yeah... i'm a 12 year old.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Exeunt Albumnes 2010

this was nothing short of a brilliant year for music. so much incredible stuff came out seemingly throughout the entire year. there is still much i have to get/hear, so i'll get those few out of the way;

some shit i still need to get;

TINSEL TEETH - Trash as the Trophy

call this Fuck No-Wave (as in the phrase "Fuck No"). not cutesy post modern ironic posturing, no "color" (except for the blood caked on their flesh during their performance), just psycho-wonky guttural blasts.

LOCRIAN - Crystal World

stunning, morose, and immensely evocative, one of the many dark horses for record of the year.

BLACK SUN - Twilight of the Gods

riffy post-metal (emphasis on "METAL") crossed with the amoral nonchalance of David Yow at his most unrestrained. this band covers more ground then the scavengers of a post-apocalyptic landscape.

SALOME - Terminal

i KNOW this is going to make a shit-ton of top ten lists for the year, and it deserves every bit of praise it gets (as does everyone behind it). I've watched this band from the beginning, and it's amazing how far they've come stylistically in a relatively short amount of time. the songs attack you in a way only the best metal acts do.

EHNAHRE - Taming the Cannibals

Like Albert Ayler deconstructing Onward to Golgotha, this is one of the most challenging, galvanizing bands of the current metal underground.

alright, now that all that's out of the way, here is the my TOP 10 of 2010.


STARKWEATHER - This Sheltering Night

there was no way this wasn't going right to the top. the absolute best release of the year. this is hands down the perfect STARKWEATHER album. if you love them, it has all you love about them and more, and if you hate them... you're a tasteless asshole. Best band in America.



like a US version of the BRAINBOMBS, this takes the spot as the best noise release for me this year. loudly caustic and caustically loud, this is the sound of modern civilization raping its own soul.


SWANS - My Father Will Guide Me Up a Rope to the Sky

not to call this a "comeback", but this is one fucking hell of a return. taking what he's learned from ANGELS OF LIGHT and applying it to the nihilistic brutality that SWANS defined, re-defined, and now re-re-defined. Pure, scary, beautiful, textural.. a fucking SWANS album.


ZOLA JESUS - Stridulum II

Sensual, hypnagogic, and eerie, in another time this magical young lady would've been the rightful queen of every weirdo out there and Lady Gaga would be just another guinea asshole from LI.


CASTEVET - Mounds of Ash

Dissonant and Avant Garde without losing a shred of intensity and succinctness. richly produced, darkly thoughtful music that continues to reward with every listen.


THE BODY - All the Waters of the Earth Turn to Blood

if Elias Mehrige's BEGOTTEN was turned into a musical, it would be this record. a shrieking nightmare of fevers and plagues that doesn't kill because you're already dead.



this album deserves credit if only for supplying the world with music from BECK that isn't crap (shtorree). the most emotionally compelling pop record since POE's Haunted. anachronistic in the best way imaginable.

# 8

KILLING JOKE - Absolute Dissent

their best record in years. passionate, outraged, cathartic, everything this remarkable band stands for. it doesn't matter which "era" of this band you prefer, this will satisfy.



UT have delivered their best album here. the whole thing just gels so perfectly, and yes, it means the world to me that it was dedicated to my best friend Lee Altomare. he would've loved this record, and i do too.



not as unbearably heartbreaking as last year's Crying Light, but still about as gorgeous a piece of music as you'll ever hear. all this and a duet w/ BJORK.

honorable mentions:

INTEGRITY - The Blackest Curse : never in a million years did i think this record would be a good as it is, but here we are. I know it's not Aaron, but he's creatively slumming it in HATEBREED right now, so i'll take this.

KAYO DOT - Coyote

their best release since Choirs of the Eye. just wonderful.

AUTOPSY - the Tomb Within

why didn't this make my top ten? cause there ain't enough of this awesomeness. a blatant yet satisfying tease for their upcoming full length. totally fucking awesome, though.

DEFTONES - Diamond Eyes

still proving themselves to be the ONLY interesting this to come out of the atrocious "nu-metal" fad, by continuing to ignore all the mad-at-my-parents posturing and focusing on death pop and cryptic lyrics. like MESHUGGAH's Destroy Erase Improve crossed with The Wedding Album by DURAN DURAN.

CLINGING TO THE TREES OF A FOREST FIRE - Songs of Ill Hope and Desperation

pay no mind to the sentence fragment name and just enjoy the filth (NOT the new haarp record. yuh-awn).

other good uns':

ARSON ANTHEM - Insecurity Notoriety
THE BASTARD NOISE - A Culture of Monsters
CHILD ABUSE - Cut and Run
COFFINWORM - When All Became None
EARLY GRAVES - Goner (R.I.P. Makh Daniels.)
GRINDERMAN - Grinderman 2
IMMOLATION - Majesty and Decay
JANELLE MONAE - The Archandroid
MIKE PATTON - Mondo Cane
THE SECRET - Solve et Coagula
TRIPTYKON - Eparistera Daimones

don't feel like getting into dishonorable mentions, but i'll say that new releases from HAARP, ASH POOL, CIRCLE OF DEAD CHILDREN (and it pains me greatly to say this), and MELVINS left much to be desired. *shrug*

next year predictions for the list:

VIRUS - The Agent That Shapes the Desert
CROWBAR - Sever the Wicked Hand

jeez i've been here for over an hour. yikes.