Thursday, May 29, 2008

Brainmares vol. 3

a 3 inch cricket is ripped in half. dish washing liquid is poured over the wound, trickling down into its abdomen, which is squeezed until a high-pitch squeel comes out of the hole.

close-up of a couple kissing on screen. the male is Christian Bale, the woman is Connie Nielsen. they kiss passionately. Bale sucks back so hard that Nielsen's top row denture is removed, revealing the dark grey rotting teeth they concealed. an x-ray of her jaw line reveals tiny sparkling gold maggots amidst the muscle.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 23

Tartan Films USA Official Closes Their Doors
Tuesday, May 27, 2008

By: MrDisgusting
May 27, 2008 will mark a sad, sad day here in the States as it was announced by Variety Asia Online that Tartan Films USA has officially closed their doors. "This came in Monday. The lawyers have spoken and Tartan USA has been closed," the site writes. If you weren't keeping score, Tartan was the US distributor for OLDBOY, ELECTION, ELECTION 2 (aka TRIAD ELECTION), SYMPATHY FOR MR. VENGEANCE and a bunch of other titles. Almost 101 of them, in fact. Watch for some acquisitions and re-released over the next year or so. This news really blows as Tartan was about to launch Blu-ray and already gave us OLDBOY in the new format.


miserable news indeed.

RIP: Asia Extreme.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

We Are the Sprocket Holes vol. 22

the following is taken from Richard Stanley's (director/writer of Hardware and Dust Devil) blog. the situation happened after the premiere of Dario Argento's the Stendhal Syndrome, the first starring his gorgeous daughter Asia (see above). this gave me goosebumps, and picturing myself in Stanley's place...feeling the touch... hearing the person... turned me into a puddle of quivering nervosa.

sorry E...i'm weak. but something tells me you understand.

it should be noted that this song;

was playing on my MP3 Shuffle. it fits.

alright heeeeere's Richard;

I didn't know what to say so I didn't stick around. My career and love life were little more than a pleasant memory themselves at that point in time, and Stendahl had felt like less than a full meal, at least it hadn't filled me quite the way I'd wanted it to, the way I had come to imagine nothing could again. I pushed through the crowd gathering around the bar, only to change my mind in mid-flow and decide to get the hell out instead. Which is when I saw her. I didn't even know she was there and she had made no effort to show for the Q and A, but she must have been looking in my direction and as I turned our gaze met.

She was the face on the screen, the woman in the picture. She was il maestro's daughter and for a moment that look of fear in her eyes seemed genuine.

"Ri - chard...?"

I can't remember if I said anything. All I know is the crowd seemed to melt and just for once there was nothing to keep us away from each other.

"You've gotta help me... you've gotta get me out of this place..."

I saw Alan Jones' amused face amongst the onlookers and I recalled that long ago moment, when I had first glimpsed Asia's eyes as the Teutonic knight knocked her mask to one side with his spear in La Chiesa, and how the nosy old bugger had simultaneously caught my outstretched hand by the wrist and told me to put out my smoke. But it was Asia's hand that held mine now and there was no objective difference any more between 'real life' and the movies except for one little detail. Living it out first hand was a big improvement over just being an observer...

"Anything you say, sister..."

My fingers pressed flat against the cold glass of an oddly convenient fire exit.

"I don't care where we go. Let's just go, okay?"

The door gave and the dream enfolded me, as if instead of stepping onto the darkened embankment I had passed passed through the mirror into another world where it was all true, where all things were possible. I remember a full moon, fuller than I'd seen it before and a white curtain fluttering and belling like the wings of an angel in the wind. It was somewhere just south of Hallow'een 1996 and for just a while, I was actually happy in a Richard kind of way, safe and secure in the arms of the mother of tears...


i need to start making movies.

Breakfast Farts vol. 8/Double You, Tea F. vol. 35

thanks for this one, Eva Blah;

Saturday, May 10, 2008

We Are the Sproket Holes vol. 21

trailer for Dario Argento's Mother of Tears;

check Bloody Disgusting for a ass-load of great images from the film.

looks to be Argento's best film in a long time. a nasty, violent, sexy Giallo, complete with his ultra-gorgeous offspring Asia in the mix. and it's rated NC-17. this coupled w/ Midnight Meat Train has me excited to be a horror fan again.

review from

By: MIke Pereira

In the year in which the “threequel" has ruled the cinemas, the one that horror fans have been desperately waiting for has finally arrived. Dario Argento’s venture into the occult began with masterpiece, “Suspiria” (1977), later to be followed by the flawed but still captivating, “Inferno” (1980). Oh yes, after a massive 27-yearlong wait, Argento has finally completed his “Three Mothers” trilogy with “Mother Of Tears: The Third Mother”. The real frightening question is if it would deliver on everyone’s extremely high expectations. Well…

This final chapter focuses on art student, Sarah Mandy (Asia Argento) who unwittingly releases the demonic power of the most powerful witch (Mother Of Tears to all you non-Argento aficionados). Before you know it, violence, mass suicides and chaos erupts all over Rome, not to mention, psychopathic witches. Like the old story goes, the protagonist must use her untapped psychic powers to stop the “Mother Of Tears” reign of evil before it’s too late.

The screenplay written by Argento himself and Jase Anderson and Adam Gierasch (writers of Tobe Hopper’s underrated, Toolbox Murders) has all of the elements a good final act should contain. The epic storyline moves along in a brisk pace with satisfying tie-ins to the previous films. The exposition is of course, quite silly but is given a conviction with just the right amount of wink at the audience without making the viewer cringe in his or her seat.

Goblin’s Claudio Simonetti has cooked up another killer score. His creepy and intense music goes perfectly hand-in-hand with Argento’s powerful imagery. It goes back to the feel of Goblin’s score in “Suspiria” without ever completely referencing to it. The epic chorus chants create an immediate, punchy effect. Plus, the “oh-so-cool” end credits metal tune perfectly caps the film.

“The Mother Of Tears” is a rousingly insane movie-going experience that could only be concocted by a genius such as Dario Argento. The shockingly graphic and inventive death scenes are vintage Argento and can be proudly put aside his previous works’ finer set-pieces. No character is spared anything less than a gloriously spectacular finish and thank heavens for that! Sexuality in Argento’s extreme violence has never been more perverse and beautifully executed. The climax of “The Mother Of Tears” take these classic Argento ingredients and smashes them together in a terribly unsubtle and spectacular orgasm of sights and sounds. It’s safe to say that the MPAA won’t let this baby nowhere near the vicinity of our “sensitive” and “inhibited” North American eyes.

The film borders on the absurd and camp without ever tripping over that fine line. It’s the type of material that could go horribly disastrous at every turn but doesn’t because of Dario Argento’s sure-hand confidence in his bold vision. His juggling of opposite emotions, black humor and horror is masterful. It’s a delicate and dangerous feat that has turned many potential great horror films to a debacle in an instant (“Dead Silence”). There is one ingenious moment where Argento distracts the viewer with a…well, very distracting image only to hit us with the best scare in ages. (I think I can call it that since the packed audiences pretty much jumped in unison). You have to applaud any movie that has a chase scene between a protagonist and a monkey and still keep the viewers in their seats. That is the sheer brilliance of “The Mother Of Tears”. It relishes in absurdly twisted ideas and images without ever pulling back in shame. A distinctly non-North American way of making movies.

The film is not without its faults. While for the most part, she is solid, Asia Argento’s performance is awkward when conveying vulnerability and emotion. It’s not that she hasn’t displayed these traits effectively in the past because she has (“The Stendhal Syndrome” and her own directorial gigs, “Scarlet Diva” and “The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things”). But her dear old dad’s female protagonists tend to be stereotypically frail, a trait that Asia’s performance never quite convincingly displays. She is too strong of a screen personality to make the viewer buy into it. Plus, on few shots, the CGI effects are a little distracting especially with the Dino De Laurentiis-like final shot. Also, while it is great to see Daria Nicolodi back in an Argento film, her character and the ghostly CGI effect which she is sadly trapped in, overstays its welcome in a “Jar Jar Binks” sort of way.

Aside from those minor nitpicks, “The Mother Of Tears” is a very satisfying finale to the “Three Mothers” trilogy. Sure, it’s no “Suspiria” and frankly, nothing ever will be. If you can get over that fact, you will find yourself entertained by Argento’s delightfully deranged and energetic epic. It’s got brutal violence! Nudity! Lesbian sexuality! Lots of lesbians! Yes, it’s politically-incorrect. What more do you want in an Argento movie?!

Did I forget to mention it has a pretty freaky monkey?

Score: 8 / 10

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

We Are the Sprocket Holes vol. 20

trailer for Andrey Iskanov's Philosophy of a Knife;

We Are the Sprocket Holes vol. 19

trailer for Tokyo Gore Police;