Thursday, September 27, 2012

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 70

Students Make Viral Video To Protest Michelle Obama’s School Lunch Plan

The Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010 not only restricts the calories in school lunches. It requires students be given more fruits and vegetables and cuts down on sweets and fatty foods in cafeteria menus. 

 high schoolers limited to 850 calories in a meal at lunch...

read that again:

 high schoolers limited to 850 calories in a meal at lunch...

 they say the average person should have at least 2000 calories a day, but that's really bullshit... 12-1600 is more than enough to sustain a healthy diet.

sorry... i just remembered what country i'm talking about here. the land of the Cheese and the home of the Cake.

and no... i didn't watch the smartass viral video, because i'm not the least bit fucking interested in what a bunch of shitstick teenagers have to say about anything.

 "waahhh our SOCIALIFACIST FIRST LADY took away barely a quarter of our canned lemonade and french fries!  we aren't getting nearly enough freeze dried sugar venomed ketchup-caked pseudo-food at this glorified daycare center, and it's inhibiting our ability to pay even less attention to our studies! " 

shut the fuck up and read.

i gotta go. 


Monday, September 24, 2012

NERRRRRRRRD!!!!! vol. 39

DREDD 3D review in brief

equal parts 2000 AD strip, the Raid, and  Robocop 2, DREDD 3D is an enjoyable, well acted, competently constructed sci-fi action film that understands and adores the source material that made its existence possible. however, the filmmakers are only dipping their toes in the shallow end of the massive pool that is Mega-City 1. the one-day-on-the-job approach of the film's narrative is of course understandable; budget constraints forced the production designers to keep it modest, which has the upside of distancing this film even further from the monumentally execrable 1995 farce, but has the downside of diminishing the vast importance of Mega-City One as a character in of itself.

given the poor box office performance this weekend, a bigger better sequel seems highly unlikely. perhaps Judge Dredd was just not long for the cinema.

whelp, we'll always have those gorgeous 2000 AD collections. 

Monday, September 17, 2012

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. 15

Thirteen-Year-Old Facing Life Without Parole For Murder of Two-Year-Old Brother

 A few months later, in March of 2011, Christian’s 2-year-old brother, David, was pronounced dead at the hospital with a fractured skull, a brain bleed, and a bruised eye.  As Susana tells the story, she left Christian, David, and her other children home without adult supervision.  When she returned, David was unresponsive, but she waited for 8-1/2 hours before bringing him to the hospital, instead choosing to perform Internet searches on “unconsciousness” and seeking advice via texts to her friends.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 200

very tiny reviews of some shit i watched this week;


Hypnagogic cinema from the fizzing core of an acid drenched brain. coils like a python of detached retina around your head, holding you in place with painted static. you know something like that.


like a John Hughes movie dreamed it was a Takashi Miike movie and then woke up to find out it was actually a Bustillo/Maury joint. see you in your nightmares, lover.


think of it as an introverted Cronenberg film. all the perverse fleshy goodness is there if you are daring enough to look for it. plus yeah.. spankings.