Thursday, May 28, 2009

Fuck My Life vol. 9

Hey Internet.

Stop it.

Stop pulling women from my Clive Barker/Jim Norton imagination and putting them in your lame ass ads for shitty singles sites. I know no one out there that looks like that is waiting for me on No one that looks like that is waiting for me anywhere ever. SHE'S NOT REAL.

look... i've tried to be cool about this, but i'm hanging by a rope of my own entrails right now. I can't deal with the hope anymore. The teasing. It's too damn much. I've already aenestized myself with enough hardcore pornography and industrial noise records to decensitize a 32 year old manboy home schooled mormon virgin that's primary window to the world is 4th generation Disney Afternoon VHS tapes and a Debbie Gibson's Electric Youth cassette single that was handed down from her equally sheltered older siblings. i'm literally days away from gunning down student nurses from a bell tower with a sawed-off hand cannon.

Fuck My Life.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 84 / Homework Sucks vol. 3

reposted from my Myspace Blog

yeah i'm still sick as a bastard, so i'm just trolling the internet for movie stuffs, which explains my last few posts.

anyways, the book Lords of Chaos, about the early days of the Norwegian Black Metal Scene, is being made into a feature film, just in time for the recent release of Varg Vikerns from jail ( story here ).

i've been gay for black metal since i was 16, when i first heard DARKTHRONE - Transylvanian Hunger and the EMPEROR track "Ye Entrancemperium" on an otherwise gay Century Media Comp;

all my boring metalhead friends said it was garbage, all my punk rock friends hated it for the surface elements (fascistic overtones and goofy make-up/costumes, as if a bunch of privileged suburban brats dressing like squatters and co-opting third world problems was any less of a pose, but i digress), the NIN/Marilyn Manson crowd either didn't know it existed, or chose to ignore it because it would reveal to the world that their musical anti-heroes were never a credible threat to anyone, and in that they would reveal to themselves that weren't nearly as "totally fucked" as some others, and the grunge holdouts are really just to pathetic to even consider.

i didn't wear a cape or clown make-up. i didn't burn churches or worship pagan gods. i just fucking liked black metal. it was unlike anything i had ever heard. it was heavy and fast, but bleak and cold. it wasn't party music. it wasn't a bunch of soulless self proclaimed virtuosos showing off tired NWOBHM licks in a Sam Ash. It sounded like animals freezing to death in the depths of a leafless forest. It was S&M not for sexual thrills, but for exorcising purposes. It didn't try to console you, or tell you it understood. it didn't condescend to your perceived "problems". This Music Hated You, and you understood the hatred, and went along with it anyway.

no one else i knew liked this stuff, except for the drummer in my old band, and even he only really dug EMPEROR. but i guess if you're only going to listen to one black metal band, you can do worse than EMPEROR (like SATYRICON maybe?). I would incorporate black metal howls and screams into our otherwise trite groove metal, and our guitarist hated it. Made me do it more... made me want even uglier, nastier stuff. it has no doubt played a huge influence in my band THE COMMUNION, and to this day remains perhaps my favorite long running sub-genre of metal.

Of course a copy of Lords of Chaos sits on my bookshelf. It's a flawed but interesting document on what for a while was the proverbial "real deal" in underground music. It was raw, elemental lunacy fed into amps that sounded seconds away from burning out, pounded on drums that sounded like garbage cans covered in dog flesh, and bad 19th century poetry being vomited from pained lungs. it could be minimal or expansive, experimental or slavish, and much like pizza... even when it's bad... it's still pretty damn good.

now about the movie;

The hey-that's-pretty-cool;

it's being directed by cult Japanese poet/filmmaker Sion Sono (Suicide Club/Suicide Circle, Strange Circus). i absolutely adore Strange Circus; the most beautiful ugly movie i've ever seen. if i had any shred of film making ability, at last half of movies would follow that template, but i digress. Sono is A pretty inspired choice for such a project. Suicide Club/Suicide Circle especially has some similar themes of youth revolting in self and not-so-self destructive ways, as well as said youth granting music and pop culture the importance and relevance once privy to family and religion, and how fanatical devotion is fanatical devotion is fanatical devotion, and it almost always leads to horror.

examples of Sono's work;

the Lame:

some douchebag from Twilight is playing Count Grishnackh aka Varg Vikerns;

Twilight Actor Jackson Rathbone To Play Varg Vikernes In Movie

posted May 25, 2009 at 2:29 PM by Diamond Oz. (74 Comments)

Twilight's Rathbone Is Lord Of Chaos

Photo of Burzum

Jackson Rathbone, who is perhaps best known for appearing in the movie Twilight, has apparently signed on to portray Burzum mastermind Varg Vikernes in the upcoming movie, "Lords Of Chaos." The movie is about the Norwegian black metal scene and the church burnings and other crimes connected to it. Varg Vikernes has previously spoken out against the movie. Vikernes confirmed on May 22nd that he is now back in free society after serving sixteen years in prison for murder and arson.

Vikernes, aka Count Grishnackh, has already been angry about the way he was portrayed in the book Lords of Chaos, which documented a string of church burnings in Norway and the stabbing death of Øystein Aarseth, aka Euronymous, of the band Mayhem. Vikernes was convicted for the 1993 murder of Euronymous, who was stabbed 23 times, and for arson in relation to three church burnings. He served 16 years, and was released in March of this year. …He’ll be played by Jackson Rathbone, recently seen as the blond, extra-weird, ultra-mopey vampire Jasper Hale in Twilight. [CHUD]

i guess it's alright. i mean, it's not like Vikerns was some muscle bound ubermench, especially nowadays;

he looks like the hippie guidance counselor from Freaks and Geeks;

now here's some Black Metal;

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Quotant Quotables vol. 27

"You’re not here to become an entertainer, and you don’t have to sell yourself. The truth is you don’t have anything to sell; being a musician isn’t about dispensing a product, like selling used cars. I’m not an entertainer; I’m a lot closer to a paramedic, a firefighter, a rescue worker. You’re here to become a sort of therapist for the human soul, a spiritual version of a chiropractor, physical therapist, someone who works with our insides to see if they get things to line up, to see if we can come into harmony with ourselves and be healthy and happy and well."

from Why Music Matters by Karl Paulnack, Director, Music Division, The Boston Conservatory

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 25

Red Hot Investment
Written by EveryTown USA | Thursday, 30 April 2009 05:33

EveryTown, USA

In just 3 months Americans bought enough guns to outfit the entire Chinese and Indian army’s combined.

“You cannot invade the mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind every blade of grass.” - Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto WWII

You also bought 1,529,635,000 rounds of ammunition in just the month of December 2008. Yeah that is right, that is Billion with a “B”. This number takes no accounting of reloading or reloaded ammunition. more at if you dare.

And how is Smith &Wesson doing? Pretty good I'd say. It looks like SWHC outperformed the general market's 30% gain since the lows. Spaceshot!!!



Hat tip to Kate McMillan for spotting this story.

Double You, Tea F. vol. 73 (featuring A NO FUCKING WAY!!!!!!!)

and now.... a NO FUCKING WAY!!!!!!