Saturday, December 18, 2010

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 173


BLACK SWAN - 10/10:

"It was perfect" - Nina.

i may get dismissed by the wannabe cinephiles out there, but this may be Arronofsky's best work. a beguiling blend of psychosexual noir and methodical body horror amounting to an eye-opening allegory on what it means to go deep into those places you'd perhaps rather not explore. even if you can't appreciate what a fine piece of work this film truly is, at least you get to see this this girl chow down on this girl.


if the family from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre made snuff films, this would be it. a surprising little sleeper of a gore film, with all the sadism Asia can muster.


Cold and brutal, a some appropriate companion piece/atmospheric counterpoint to Refn's previous dose of deliriously theatrical criminal masculinity BRONSON. fuck Nu-Conan.

RAMPO NOIR - 9/10:

masterfully perverse cinematic ode to the great Japanese ero-guro author Edogawa Rampo, whose penned such classic pieces of sadism as Moju: the Blind Beast, Horrors of Malformed Men, Gemini (all of which have been turned into classic films) and many many others. in this anthology film, four of Rampo's stories are adapted with feverish glee;

Mars Canal: the quietly (literally) harrowing opening segment.

Mirror Hell: the only weak link. a rather pedestrian detective story.

Caterpillar - now we're talking:
A war hero returns home with no limbs and only his eyesight remaining. His beautiful wife, tired of taking care of him, turns to torturing her crippled husband for amusement.

Crawling Bugs - the incredible dream like closing number:
A sexy actress is returning home from a successful night on stage, until her limo driver decides that she should be coming home with him.

it's a shame when incredible films like this go unnoticed while dopey crap like Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl sucks up all the attention, but what are you going to do, eh? (yeah... i saw that one. no... i don't feel like reviewing it).

POLA X - 8.5/10:

One of the most original films you'll ever see. exists in a class of of it's own.. with a fucking INCREDIBLE soundtrack by Scott Walker.

FEED - 6.5/10:

I dunno... i admire the film for having a sick idea and some icky visuals to go along with it, but it gets bogged down when it tries to be something more than just a gross out flick. i didn't buy the villain's existentialism and the protagonist was too much of a fucking asshole. i'd like to see someone take this concept and really make a strong film with it, cause this ain't it.


too fucking sexy for the room. i can't find the scene online, but in this movie, Carla Guigno goes into graphic detail about having an anal induced orgasm. needless to say i masturbated with my own tears that night.


the Suicide Girls are fucking pantywaists.

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