Free Bryan Hathaway
To: All People Who Believe In Progress
A caring and loving relationship with a consenting dead animal on the side of the road is a constitutional right of every American regardless of ethnic, religious, or economic background.
Bryan James Hathaway is a young minority activist from Wisconsin who has been on the forefront of progressive struggle for the liberation of inanimate objects, plants, animals, and household appliances. His selfless devotion to fighting speciism and necrophobia in our society has led him to be brutally persecuted, tortured, and incarcerated - all for a laughable "crime" of "sexual gratification with a dead deer on the side of the road." As if his prior conviction of "horsing around" had not been enough, the bigoted ruling class is once again making him the whipping boy of their own suppressed anxieties, fantasies, and desires.
As if the judges, the persecutors, and the police have never had sexual fantasies as they drove past roadkill - a juicy squirrel or a skunk - or as they visited a funeral, petted a neighbor's dog, fed guppies in a fish tank, or handled a toaster? I know I do - just as every other broadminded human being on planet Earth!
Every generation should have a moral assignment, and one of ours should be justice for Bryan James Hathaway!
Free Hathaway and all prisoners of conscience!
Long live our collective commitment to sexual liberation of inanimate objects!
Sincerely,
147. Nick Benoitschwitz
never let it be said that i don't reach for the sky....
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