feel like i'm bleeding inside my chest. like my lungs are melting or something. haven't written much here. haven't written much in general. hate summer. beyond sick of it. it's a rotting corpse at this point.
was told by a slightly overweight 19 year old girl that i wasn't attractive. that pretty much sums up all the rejections I've been experiencing lately. not because it matters or because it's the most destructive, but it is sort of the most blackly comical and humiliatingly debasing. that'll teach me to look past your shortcomings.
plus side of sexual frustration and female indifference; been reading a ton. Jean Genet, Jesus Aldapuerta, Samuel R. Delaney, Arthur Rimbaud, Maggie Nelson's Art of Cruelty is fascinating, as is Gates of Janus by Ian Brady. The Ultimate Dead Baby Joke Book is mostly retarded, but there was one joke i really liked, and plan to use at the next convenient uncomfortable silence;
Q: What's the difference between a peach and a dead baby?
A: I don't cum on a peach before i eat it.
done for mao.