i was fresh out of college, 2 and 1/2 years immersed in The Communion (still counting), cruising for trim, and looking for writing gigs when i conceived this blog. as best i can remember, the title came from a post on the old Relapse Records message board (hence the parodic tribute in the banner), and this blog was meant to be a place where i could curate raw materials and aesthetic inspirations for my creative outputs. not merely a blog for self-attention starved diary entries (although there is plenty of that), but a place where i'd share art, music, bizarre news stories, films, pornography, works of others shuffled into a barrage of information both catastrophic and fruitful.
looking back at older entries, i see a lot of idiot rage stemming from deep insecurity and frustrated uncertainty about what would become of my aspirations. i had not yet learned that the publishing industry had been perhaps irrevocably toxified by a misguided animus directed toward those from working class backgrounds, who fail to be in possession the enabling trust funds that insure they only remain fashionably impoverished while they grind through unpaid internships and barista underemployment while still expecting everyone to marvel at their "struggle" to live in one of the most expensive cities in the country, as if their inherited privilege had nothing to do with their occupation of the metropolis and their ability to network among other cosmopolitan subversives.
that being said, i can't help but wince at the ballistic overentitlement and craftless vitriol that make up much of this blog's DNA in the early years. stupid, petty, vicious stuff... no wonder they don't come calling. the fact that much of the social networks are invariably fueled by even more acerbic strains of spite and possessiveness is what caused me to move this blog into more of a spot for off-beat news items and poetically terse film reviews, with an occasional dip into the perma-fixation on women, in all their infuriating splendor and tantalizing rancor.
perhaps they'll be further shifts in content and expression. perhaps not. but since i'm going nowhere... i'm not going anywhere.
here's Lydia Lunch getting spanked while Richard Kern watches: