Thursday, July 17, 2008

NEEEERRRRRRRD! vol. 2

trailer for WATCHMEN;



ok first off...FUCKING SLOW MOTION.

second off....THE SMASHING PUMPKINS SONG FROM BATMAN AND ROBIN?????

third off... that just didn't look or feel like Watchmen at all. Too slick and stylized and soulless and self-consciously "dark" for it's own good. Dr. Manhattan looks like a video game character, Rorschach doesn't sound detached enough (always pictured him more monotone and cold sounding, almost like Cronenberg in Nightbreed), and the other characters are just dumb looking... and not in the way that they were dumb looking in the book. not "comic book" dumb looking, but "trying too damn hard to be a sexy time bad-ass" dumb looking.

i'm officially done with following this thing. Zack Snyder can go fuck himself. I don't care if you have a 4 and a half hour cut of this movie ready for DVD. i can't in all good consciousness watch 4 hours of your murky artless slo-mo garbage film. you'll get none of my attention or money. i'll take the money and spend on Alan Moore's other works, like Lost Girls or any of the Swamp Thing collections.

I'm now of the opinion that Alan Moore should put a curse on these mother fuckers. i'm let down by Dave Gibbons for endorsing such a vile rape of his top-notch artistry, but whatever...dude's gotta eat i guess.

When this comes out, i will be sitting at home...READING THE REAL THING.

ninja edit; after reading the majority of people on Ain't it Cool News and the site linked above, who are quivering with delight over this thing....

....WHAT...THE FUCK...??

you actually think THAT looks good? it's a testament to today's film goer i suppose. this is execrable film making. this is everything that is wrong with contemporary genre films. Watchmen should've looked like the Dark Knight, NOT 300. the failure of this turgid mess of cinema will make 1996's Island of Dr. Moreau look like Citizen Kane.

FUCK YEAH I AM JUDGING IT ON THE TRAILER ALONE.

This was supposed to blow my mind, not sodomize it. but i guess that's what some of you are into.

God really isn't there.*

*if you are unlike most of the simps who are praising this thing, and have in fact read Watchmen, you will get this..

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