Just Needed to Share vol. 26

ladies and gentlemen.... the worst song ever produced from a "metal" band;

STUCK MOJO - "Friends"



i hesitate to even call this "metal", as it's obvioulsy more influenced by shmaltzy sitcom theme songs from the 1980s than Slayer records. All that's missing is a sample of Bronson Pinchott saying "Donbereedickuloss" while proposing to a goat or whatever the hell he did on that dumb ass show.

i mean, Stuck Mojo were never exaclty the benchmark of intelligencia in Metal, but this is just embarrasing. compared to this, 3 Doors Down sound as raw and uncompromising as Nuclear Death playing in the rest room of a group home for aborigines burn victims with compulsive explosive diarrhea and leaky 3 foot catheters.

this is the musical equivalent of a manboy bulldyke go-tard in a crooked hockey helmet and a pair of skid marked Care Cousin underoos drooling over a 3-wheeled Tonka Trunk while watching "KIDS Incorporated" and clapping his wrists together going "KAY! EYE! DEE! ESS! gahahahahahahaha!". it's like a Just Say No to Smoking AIDS Pollution PSA from 1991 featuring a gaggle of break dancing 9 year olds with spiky hair and rat tails wearing neon graffiti'd parachute pants, hot pink t-shirts, 4 snap bracelets on one wrist and 6 snap bracelets on the other, while Captain Planet and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rap about not littering your dirty needles and broken condoms in front of a busy playground... then the cast of "Saved by the Bell", Nancy Reagan, Doogie Howser, Freddy Kruger, Kirk and Candace Cameron, Das Effects, and a guy with a trachea ring robot voice say something life-affirming and gay, give the "thumbs up!" , then suck each other's dicks and fingerbang a rainforest.

just needed to share.