Saturday, July 17, 2010

Not that I'm bitter or anything vol. 2

an all purpose open letter to the you-know-what-you-dids out there;

You cum-fume huffing queerbaits. fuck your own fuck that you fucked out of your own fuck, you microwave accident cocktards. you pissbags of stupid. you megaphone cunt farts of uneducated opinions and sub-taste. i could rape the soul of all childhood joy and i still wouldn't be the toilet rimming suckjob you are every minute of your piece of dick life. You rectal abscess of always. You genital thief. Your cranium is God's upper decker, you clitoral anvil. Suck the fucking Suck sucking Fuck off and sodomize your mouth in the ass of its dick, you miscarriage basket. You bovine golden shower of perpetual contagion.


this has nothing to do with anyone. i'm not even that mad, really. i'm just trying to marry the words/anger of David Mamet, Sam Kinison, and William Bennet. hope you enjoyed, and hope you put some of these insults to use.... maybe even create your own.

try it. you'll feel better.

1 comment:

emanonguy said...

Miscarriage basket is pretty rad. Between my various friends and I, we've wordsmithed and acronymed it up:

Cocksmith, as in blacksmith. Me and a couple of my smart friends I met in the Navy created that for the truly lowest and wosrt bottom feeding shitmasters that step on their own sailors/coworkers(junior or senior) to get ahead. Though it can be put to generalized use for masters of shittery, we try to be conservative with it's use to preserve it's potency. Probably my favorite of these.

Cunt shovel. My friend just popped this one out years ago and never really specified if it is simply a dick reference or if it is more in the vein of cocksmith, some kind of absurd existential insult with a range of possible meanings.

Scientifical, for any range of stupidity or pseudoscience.

GNCMF as in "General Nutrition Centers", or GNC-Mother Fucker. Any generalized form of extreme gym-rattery, particularly those with roid-rage or similar outburst prone starving-model tendencies experienced in the quest to become "fucking huge". It used to be up on Urban Dictionary but has since been removed for some reason. Probably a DMCA notice in spite of it's obvious satire.

There's more but I just wasted the day doing some rather pointless research on various unrelated topics. Either way, wordsmithing is pretty darn fun and your stylesmithing(for lack of a better term) is quite engaging and entertaining. It reminds me of some of your other posts and seems loaded with possibilities.