Thursday, June 7, 2007

I Dunno, Just a Thought vol. 9

let's talk about Dinosaurs Attack!

Dinosaurs Attack! was a trading card series produced by Topps in the late 80s. designed to invoke their previous cult series Mars Attacks!, as well as capitalizing on the Dinosaur craze (i remember that fondly), Topps went ahead and produced this bizarrely violent card series.

the story starts out simple enough. Through a rift in time, the Dinosaurs find themselves in Regan's America, where they proceed to maim, mutilate, and mangle just about every living thing they come in contact with. The series pulled no punches, and never missed an opportunity to show the goriest of demises, be the victims men, women, children, hair metal bands, dogs, lions...yes, i said LIONS. here are some choice cuts;

at some point, the plot reveals that the Dinosaurs are actually being controlled by "the Supreme Monstrosity". essentially, the Supreme Monstrosity is Dinosaur Satan, and he wants to use the dinosaurs to control the world for some reason. around this point, the humans start fighting back (as illustrated in the "Little Girl Fights Back" and "Cat Lady's Revenge" cards), and the human scientist discovers a way to send the dinosaurs back to their time. naturally, this angers the Supreme Monstrosity, and he comes for the scientist;
as the scientist is being reduced to a cinder in the palm of the Supreme Monstrosity, he tells his wife to activate...whatever the hell it is that will send the Dinosaurs back. she does, and the Dinosaurs are ripped back through the time portal in tornadoes of gore;
the scientist, now close to death; leaves these parting images and words;

keep in mind, these cards were aimed at CHILDREN. and that's what i fucking love about them.

the people who made Dinosaurs Attack! knew their audience; blood thirsty young boys who like big monsters killing shit. i know i was like that (still am to a degree). all Dinosaurs Attack! did was go where no toy line dared go; right into the guts. I remember the dinosaur craze...the cuddly creatures of the Land Before Time, the super-heroics of the Dinosaucers...Dinosaurs Attack! went for the Horror/Sci-Fi/Scare Tactics....and also latent religious themes;

Dinosaurs are from a Godless Time, and their higher power (the Supreme Monstrosity) only wishes to manipulate them for his own means. our higher power, granted us a soul...a conscious...which grants us the ability to rationalize, clarify, and love. Our higher power does not wish to exploit us. but the Dinosaurs are just tools for the Supreme Monstrosity. Satan found a race of creatures that did not know of God, thus they were more susceptible to his influence. if these creatures took over God's earth, than God would no longer have Power, and the Supreme Monstrosity would have won.

so we have ultra-violence, giant lizards, Dinosaur Satan, and perhaps most monstrous of all; Christian Undertones. How could you not love it?

i dunno...just a thought.

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