Thursday, December 17, 2009

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 122

Top Ten Film of the Decade by something that has two thumbs and no life.... THIS GUY!!!1@!

yeah, so this is fairly self explanatory. Decade is over in a couple of weeks, and everyone's doing their big decade's end list of assorted media. you'll find that most of my films... pretty much all of them... are from out of the country as usual.

fuck "honorable mentions".

alright, here they are... starting from the bottom;



David Lynch arguably outdid himself with this consistently mysterious dreaming film. it was like the last 15 minutes of the final episode of TWIN PEAKS stretched to a near 4-hour run time, making perhaps the most confrontational film Lynch has ever made. This is Lynch Unbound.



Let the LAGUNA BEACH enthusiasts have their bloodless TWILIGHT SAGA. this is for the rest of us. Lyrical. Heart breaking. Death never has been so alive.



"Torture Porn" finally grew up with Pascal Laugier's existential bloodbath, proving that you can do more with a body than merely chop it to pieces.



A bug fucked nightmare composite of scissor mutilation, involuntary abortion, improvised tracheotomy, and a final shot so grotesquely poetic that Beksinki would shiver with night terror chills.



to me, this is easily the sexiest film of the decade, and one of the very very best of Shinya Tsukamoto's flawless filmography. lead actress Asuka Kurosawa earned comparisons to Audrey Hepburn, but she goes above and beyond the call of any angeneux i can remember. let's see Megan Fox or Scarlett Johansen get down like this in one of their films.... please?



director Christopher Nolan and his brother writer Johnathan Nolan burst out of obscurity with this experimental (by now much copied) amnesiac revenge thriller. Demanding repeat viewings and your undivided attention, this is a cinematic puzzle you're never quite sure is ever really solved.



Andrey Iskanov has not only cemented his reputation as one of the best directors in the genre cinema medium, but he took that cement and with it cracked open all our skulls. Part docudrama, part surrealist splatter; a scrap book of unfathomable atrocity that proves once again that mankind is a truly more horrifying killer than any zombie plague or haunted house.



Jan Svankmajer's maniacal blend of Edgar Allen Poe, DeSade, and his own trademarks (ie stop motion meat puppetry) made for the most joyfully blasphemous film of the decade. makes QUILLS look like GIRL, INTERRUPTED.



Hell inside a Heaven = Heaven inside a Hell. Gasper Noe's film is perhaps the most artfully assaulting (if not the most arresting) film of the past ten years. even the soundtrack wants to make you squirm. But beyond the intense physical violence, there is some real moments of sadness and beauty that often get overlooked. and yes, Monica Bellucci is not only the sexiest actress alive, but perhaps the most fearless.

and finally....



Anyone who is a movie fan should watch this one. It has everything that makes cinema great. It's funny, touching, violent, well acted, well written, beautifully shot, and will leave you speechless. if you don't like OLDBOY, i really have nothing to say to you. This is a movie whose appeal is instantaneous. I'd say you either have no taste, or are simple, or you're just not doing it right. Oh Dae-Su FTW.

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