Monday, April 12, 2010

Fuck YOUR Life vol. 7

so it's come to this.... Twilight-Core.

2 of the most nauseating trends currently molesting pop culture; fruity sparklepires and breakdown ladden glitterscreamocore, have somehow found each other, birthing the auditory butt-baby you see above. Their band name is an unfunny 1980s pop culture reference (the comic book from the Lost Boys)... AND there's autotune! if this was an Ironic Lady GaGa cover the cycle would be complete.

seriously people, ENOUGH with the Vampires. even the shit you think is "cool" is fucking worthless and gay. if it's not Herzog's Nosferatu or the Addiction or Let the Right One In or Darkness: the Vampire Version, leave me the ass alone.

and a side note; when i say "good vampire movie", i am NOT talking about the fucking Lost Boys. sorry ladies over 25, and i know i've probably further condemned myself to a life of involuntary celibacy for even putting this thought down, but that was the Twilight of the 80s. It's Kiefer Sutherland and Jason Patrick (eeeeeeew!) necking and making rape-eyes at each other for 90 minutes. If a guy says he likes this, it's cause he wants to fuck you, or Kiefer Sutherland, or Jason Patrick (eeeeeeeeew!). you want an awesome 80s punk rock vampire movie? NEAR DARK, bitches. Near Dark is the movie Lost Boys would be if it were even 1/10th as cool as you all think it is.

anyway, back to the shitunes.

Vampires Everywhere! makes ATREYU sound like GISM. it's what i imagine a fat girl's pink marble notebook covered with HIM stickers and filled cover to cover with god awful quasi-erotic Lestat fan fiction would sound like if you could put it to noise.

You're a vampire? then go out in the sun and fucking die already.

ps: the fusion of metal/rock/hardcore/w-ev-rr with Autotune has to stop right the fuck right fucking now. It's not cute. it's not clever. it's not funny. It's a lazy opportunistic cash grab.

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