advance apologies for any goth-kidness that may lie ahead.
seriously.... can anyone commit to anything anymore? i'm not talking about the tired womanly quip about men be afraid of commitment, i'm talking about this whole "up-in-the-air" response to everything. i feel like i can never make plans with anyone cause you'll never know where they will be, if they are anywhere at all. it's like everyone wants to appear busy without actually being busy, leaving time open for the sake of leaving time open. stop pretending you have a life and fucking have a life.
the thought of this particular feeling that's been eating at me all day manifesting into words feels like i'm swallowing matchsticks. that i can only be cryptic about it is doing little to allow for catharsis, let alone alleviation, so i don't know.... i think the only way i can properly let everyone know what precisley on my mind is to have my inner ears tied to a seven-story turbine as it vomits the digested inhabitants of an insane asylum, while the inside of my eyes are continuously violated watching a conveyor belt sexually molest itself, then to be drawn and quartered in all directions by a convoy of speeding mack trucks while "Throne of Agony" by Foetus is played over air raid horns as aboriginal tribes of transgendered dwarf hookers furiously masturbate their anuses with my limbs in a bombed out Roman Colosseum.
"Hitler reprise in the worm of your soul". fuck i love the Manic Street Preachers.
so yeah i'm on several dating sites. the rather pedestrian PlentyOFish and the slightly more lurid FetLife. so far nothing. turns out i have the same amount of confidence in here as i do out there... which is to say absolute bupkiss. lot of secret fatties... lot of stuck up twits with impossibly high standards that only people who are Ryan Reynolds can live up to... a lot of naive imbeciles who aren't "looking for anything right now". well then what the fuck are you doing on a dating site, you anus slurping harlequin miscarriage? "i like the blogs and pictures!" THEN START A BLOG WITH PICTURES OF YOURSELF you charm-deficient testicle dish.