Sunday, February 13, 2011

Angrilly Fornicate the Genesis of My Being vol. 1+2-2+3-2

so yeah... Grammys are tonight. i'm feeling slightly morose after a day of listening to THE BLACK HEART PROCESSION and getting lost in fantasies of diving off bridges with rocks tied to my ankles as to be buried in the fecal waters spurting from sewer manes. so of course that means tomorrow is Valentines Day.

in order to make myself feel a little less hang-myself-in-the-toilety, i've decided to do one of these play-by-play things. it's a good work out, and at the end of the night i'll be this in sound mind and body.

well at least Cee-Lo Green is getting a nod for his brilliant single, which could be the best thing to happen to pop music not involving the augmented tits of a barely natal bubblehead. beyond that and Janelle Monae, everything else looks to be business as usual ie. blowing ass for cock. oh and Lady Gaga's gonna ruin Butoh for everyone who isn't a sub-imaginative rectum spore. I can't wait.

oh and her new single sounds like this + this + this. to quote the Angry Aryans, it gives rainbows a bad name. i haven't seen a bigger offense committed against the homosexual community since Cruising. I like how people think this is some sort of gay pride thing when really the only people who will like this track are the annoying fag-hags real gay men probably want to kill. so gay or straight... all men wanna kill all women.

did you see my post about Anne Frank's clitoris? it's the post before this. you should read it. hot stuff comin' through.

i haven't heard this boring Moby/Gwen Stefani song in like ten years, and in the last 24 hrs i've heard three times, and one of those was a karaoke rendition. i wanna headbutt wormholes. i also went to a strip club. on Long Island. at Last Call. somethings aren't good or bad, they just are.

less than 25 minutes to go. i'm not watching Red Carpet coverage because it's for assholes. Anderson Cooper is talking to Lady Gaga. suddenly 2 weeks ago in Egypt doesn't seem so bad for this dude, eh? this spoiled guinea has been sent to destroy everything we find interesting. "a performance artist". "a true academic of music". how exactly is wearing a dress made of raw meat a commentary on "Don't Ask Don't Tell'? now she's stealing Divine's (a REAL icon with ACTUAL TALENT) make-up. what an asshole. bet she'll steal this next.

10 minutes to go. Justin Bieber has a movie out? and you thought A Serbian Film went to far.

nevermind. fuck this bullshit.


A.D. said...

No Kanye meltdown this year?

Nick said...

i had my own Kyane meltdown in the shower. we were out of Head & Shoulders AGAIN.

Nick said...

i only caught roughly the last hour and a half of this taint anvil. Cee Lo Green was of course the highlight until Gweneth Paltrow came out to milk a 3 week old SNL meme for all its worth. i'd like to see her scalped and the bloody clump tied to a dead tree. Katy Perry's new Strawberry Slutcake image can't even give you diabetes right. a bland nu-country song i've only heard while making a beeline toward the exit of Target as to avoid a panic attack beat out Cee Lo's "Fuck You" for song and record of the year. i've never heard the Arcade Fire before last night and after watching/hearing them i still don't think i did. i'm pretty sure they pick the winners either out of a hat or out of contrarian spitefulness. either way it doesn't matter cause it mostly all sucks.... mostly.

A.D. said...

The only part of it I caught while at work was Christina Aguilera singing alongside a bunch of women I didn't recognize. Awards shows make me nauseous. A bunch of industry people jerking each other off and giving out courtesy awards.

Nick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nick said...

but it was pretty fucking hilarious that Justin Bieber lost best new artist to some jazz singer no one has ever heard of. I was pulling for Florence and the Machine in that category, but as long as that glorified Kidz Bop Rape Baby wasn't rewarded i was to be glad. i'm still trolling through the news sites looking for a story involving a bunch of forlorn Bieber-Heads locking their hands together and jumping in front of a train ala Suicide Club.

emanonguy said...

hahaha glorified Kidz Bop is fucking marvelous. I'm gonna have to steal that one, I've never heard a more accurate description for the shit that passes as music.