Monday, May 7, 2007

I Dunno, Just a Thought vol. 5

Exclusive: Spider-Man 4 Villains Revealed... Already?!

When Spider-Man 3 was being prepped Sam Raimi and Columbia Pictures tried to hold the announcement of Venom for as long as they possibly could... confirming the news just before Comic Con in July of 2006. But here we are, the day Spider-Man 3 hits theaters, and your good pal here has the skinny on who you will see in Spider-Man 4 - with or without Sam Raimi (hater of all things symbiotic).

Before I hit you with the news, let me make it clear that we got this news from a 100% reliable source working on the film. He's the one who told us Venom was the villain in Spidey 3 and nobody believed us. So here you have it, the biggest announcement of 2008... NOW!

Our regular scooper tells FreezeDriedMovies that plans are underway for Spider-Man 4, which were (obviously) set up in the third film. In the third entry, Dr. Curt Connors (played by Dylan Baker) looks at a piece of symbiote with Peter Parker. The movie then travels along it's path without another mention of that "piece" of symbiote. This is the set up for Spider-Man 4 where that small piece of alien symbiote becomes CARNAGE. Yes Cletus Kasady is coming to the big screen, one of Spider-Man most horrifying and evil villains. Not only with Parker have to deal with the red lean mean killing machine, but Connors is set to become the long awaited LIZARD! these two villains have all been CONFIRMED for Spider-Man 4. There is talk of the Black Cat making her first appearance, but that's all but official.


now who knows if this is really true, but i wouldn't put it past the Sony Executives. after all, Spider-Man 3 has made an obscene amount of money this week, so who cares really if most people thought it was bloated, meandering, and underdeveloped... they paid to see it and by that logic they'll pay to see it again.

the Lizard has been building, and would be a good addition to the series. Black Cat has never been much more than a Catwoman knock-off and really adds nothing but yet ANOTHER girl for Parker to mull over. Carnage, on the other hand, would be ultimately pointless. sure, you can right the wrong and make Carnage the character Venom should have been in part 3, but at the same time it might be better to just give Venom a second chance...bring him back some how. Venom is clearly the stronger character.

if you're going to go ahead and do this...i'd say get some fresh blood. new director. new writer. new cast. it's clear to me that the cast of the last 3 films is worn out on the material, proven evident in the PR interviews, where Dunst, Maquire, and Franco sounded beat, bored with the films that made them money and gave them star power. Comics change writers and artists all the's how these characters stay fresh and relevant.

shake things up. i'm sick of seeing Spider-Man cry about girls. let's have a Spider-Man that's fun and heroic without being put-upon. make the villains human, but not necessarily sympathetic. no redemption, no "i'm just trying to raise funds for my dying wife's sick uncle's dog and that's why i'm evil" stuff. make them menacing. if you're going to juggle multiple villains, than split the film in half; make it almost like a double feature. devote one hour to the Lizard. during that hour Carnage can be built up in the background. have the Lizard defeated, then devote the rest of the film to Carnage. their connection doesn't have to be that defined...maybe Connors worked on the new symbiote and Cassady gets a hold of it. that enough. they don't need to team up.

Connors/Lizard is easy. he's the perfect Monster Movie character and should be treated as such. Carnage needs an overhaul. more accurately, Kleuts Cassady needs an overhaul. instead of making him an one-dimensional amalgam of serial killer cliche, maybe make him some sort of a twisted intellectual...someone who maybe goes to the same school as Parker...maybe even some kind of professor at that school. perhaps a English/Philosophy major or professor. make him a philosophical anarchist with a caustic world view who despite his often misanthropic leanings and contemptuous attitude toward his peers has never really been a danger...maybe make him more of a wallflower/introvert who has suddenly come in contact with a way to finally bring his words to life. don't make him a Venom knock-off...have his progression culminate in being something more akin to a virus run amok than a typical super-villain. he won't be out for revenge or redemption, but for chaos and disorder at it's very worst. make him a nightmare. make Carnage not so much his alias but more about what he creates...what he is.

i dunno...just a thought.

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