Sunday, March 15, 2009

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 68

more tiny reviews;

MISS MARCH - 8/10: Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore of the Whitest Kids U Know (the funniest show on television not animated and or named "Superjail!") make it to mainstream cinemas, and the critics are calling for their heads. that's the way it should be. i haven't seen a comedy that rubbed the gross-out seekers nose in the filth since Tom Green's molotov cocktail jack-in-the-box Freddy Got Fingered. While this isn't quite as subversively contemptuous as Green's film, Moore and Cregger's film delivers what it promises; tits, shit, and crude absurdity so wide-eyed that it carries a childish likability that keeps it from being too much of a toilet hammer. and those Russian lesbian broads were bodacious. gets a little soft in the third act, but there is potential here for future projects that hopefully will push the boundaries even farther, and hopefully include the other 3 Whitest Kids in on the glory. I wanna see Timmy as a Cross dressing serial murderer and Sam as a Nudist Rageoholic with Scanner powers. get on it.

LAT DEN RATTE KOMMA IN (LET THE RIGHT ONE IN) - 9/10 : simply beautiful. Lina Leandersson performance as "Eli" broke my heart. Everyone who praised this film was correct. can't really add more than that.

AMERICAN GOTHIC - 7.5/10: Underrated late 80s slasher that's light on gore, but makes up for it with genuinely unnerving killers (manchildren will always be creepier than serial murdering burn victims) and some stomach-churning values. some of the performances are spotty, but it's a decent Ch.11 sort of afternoon spender.

CANNIBAL - 8.5/10: An arthouse splatter film. about as filthy and repulsive a film anyone could ever concoct.

JACK KETCHUM'S THE GIRL NEXT DOOR - mother of god/10: this will destroy you. one of the top 5 most blood curdling films i have ever witnessed. Blanche Baker's performance as the sinister unapologetically sadistic Ruth Chandler (aka "Aunite Ruth") is every evil matriarch of Grimm Fairy Tales crossed with every character David Hess has ever played. It's incredible how this film showed just enough of the violence, never lingering on it and/or exploiting it, but not hiding/cutting away from it either. The film also has a warm, sunlit look to it, belying the savagery beneath its surface, which makes it have more of an impact than all the self consciously gloomy horror that has permeated American cinemas for the past decade.

THE MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN - 1/10: how in the pigshit did this happen? an awesomely insane short story about a subterranean butcher supplying human meat for Freemason C.H.U.Ds living in an abandoned train station, bull-fucked into just another After Dark Horrorfest piece of shit; a nonsensical poorly lit misdirected twitchy schlocky CGI'd-gore slasher wannabe about a half-a-man photographer, his super-model fiance, and Robotic Killing Machine Killer Guy #589869089398598693834. biggest disappointment in a long time. fuck you.

THE FALL - 8.5/10: Tarsem Singh (director of the Cell) gets to really flex his muscles here. some of the most succulent, trance inducing images ever put to film. story is a little "meh", sort of in the Pan's Labyrinth vein of fairy tales for adult, but the visuals are so rich and ripe with imagination that it transcends its mediocre plot. Tarsem Singh still hasn't made his Holy Mountain just yet, but he's inching a bit closer with this one.

LA TERZA MADRE (THE MOTHER OF TEARS) - 8/10: Dario Argento completes his "3 Mothers" trilogy. while he'll never replicate the transcendental awesomeness of the seminal SUSPIRA (the first one of the trilogy), this one is about on par with the second installment INFERNO, and certainly the best or at least watchable film he's made in years. a lot of really outrageous set pieces, gorgeous women, and Asia Argento with mind powers. rating would've been up a few notches if Goblin did the score.... that's really all it needed.

CHARLES MANSON SUPERSTAR - 9/10: A fascinating look at the more esoteric conspiratorial elements of the Manson myth. A lot of obscure facts and interesting insights into a story that had been mournfully robbed of its dimension by the mass media.

No comments: