Tuesday, March 17, 2009

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 69 (tee)/Fuck My Life vol. 3

Rihanna to hit the big screen with 'Bodyguard'

...rather unfortunate choice of words, no?

oh, and just for the record. I don't care if Rihanna got her ass handed to her because she gave her boyfriend herpes. I would swim backwards and upside down through a ocean of nuclear winter corpse ashes, tainted peanut butter juice, and Beast Man AIDS if Rihanna was waiting for me at the end of said ocean, ready willing and able for a triple X fuckdown. i would do everything and anything to this woman... everything and anything my demented diseased gutter rat head could conceivably and inconceivably concoct, within and beyond all known and unknown forms of reason.

i mean..you've seen her, right?

you do you have eyes that routinely perform their primary function, yes yes?

i mean....


sex with this woman would turn me into a tornado of motorboat blading appendages. Upon entering her metaphysical transmutator of a vagina, my cock would quietly whimper "ohh god... i can see forever..." before dissolving into graceful shafts of light that shoot through our veins and blast out of our pores, burning wormholes into the thick-enough-to-bite atmosphere. my brains would be blown out of my balls, spackling the walls with gummed up cerebral works. My muscles and bones would erupt out of my flesh, my skinless form scaling the walls, leaving a trail of offal pearls in its wake. She would than pull the meat from my gory frame, running it over her impossibly bronzed body, painting her cooing face and twitching erogenous zones with my arterial lacquer, her gestures becoming more animalistic and primal as she orgasms, falling into a cannibal satisfaction on the mangled bedsheets that she has made of my skin, enveloped in my organ for all time.

.... fuck my life.

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