Tuesday, June 16, 2009

NEEERRRRRRRRRD!!!!!! vol. 12

Bored. No Job. No Life. Dark Knight is on HBO.

I'm wondering how exactly Nolan and co. are going to top themselves next time. the dork boards are and have been buzzing with rumors and theoretical castings for the villains since the day the second film opened.

since i'm really no better, i'm going to go ahead and do a theoretical casting for Christopher Nolan's 3rd Batman film. i'm not going to go too obvious and throw out Riddler and Catwoman ideas, since i'm willing to bet you won't see them in a third installment. instead i'm going to throw out characters i haven't seen done in a Batman film.

here goes everything;

Peter Greene as Roman Sionis aka Black Mask:

The main baddie of this film should be the Black Mask. Sionis/Black Mask is essentially a twisted evil version of the Bruce Wayne/Batman dynamic; Owner of a Cosmetic company by day, kingpin of sadism by night. The kind of guy who may look slick and proper, but wouldn't think twice about having a copy of the 120 Days of Sodom lying in plain sight on his coffee table.

Few actors do evil sadist as well as Peter Greene. Look to his roles in Clean, Shaven, Pulp Fiction, the Usual Suspects, and even the Mask. He's perfect for this role.

I'd play up his cruelty and torture fetish. Maybe make the teeth in his mask real... having him pull teeth out of people's heads and fitting them into the jaw of the mask. He'd be the rising crime boss among the now burgeoning "freak" contingent, with several recognizable characters in his employ, either as muscle, assassins, or dealers of experimental drugs.

the muscle;

Tiny Lister as Waylon Jones aka Killer Croc:

Black Mask's muscle would have to be scaly bruiser Croc. A former pro wrestler turned violent criminal, he's been portrayed as everything from hired muscle to an reptilian Andrei Chikatilo. I'd go somewhere between the two. make him someone with a severe full body psoriasis that gives him a scaly, lizard skin. Have him augment his already monstrous look by alluding to the fact that he filed down his teeth and fingernails into sharp points. From far away, he should look like a big thug, but when up close he looks gray and reptilian.

Tiny Lister appeared briefly in the Dark Knight as a Tattooed criminal. He's still about as mean and imposing as he's ever been, and with the make-up he'd look completely different from his character from the previous film. Can't imagine anyone else in the part.

the assassin;

Rupert Everett as Floyd Lawton aka Deadshot:

The sardonic assassin-for-hire is another character that sort of operates as an "Anti-Batman". He's a rich man with lots of "wonderful toys". He is however the perfected embodiment of everything that Batman stands against... namely, the gun. Deadshot is a firearm that walks like a man. In the film, he'd be in the employ of Black Mask, taking out anyone perceived as a threat.

Casting was tough here, and a "hearthrob" like Everett may seem like a weird choice, but as Floyd Lawton, Deadshot is supposed to have movie star looks. Plus Everett got his start in the cult classic DELLAMORTE DELLMORE aka CEMETERY MAN, where he played a droll zombie killer. Given the right role, Everett could do Deadshot's cynical attitude justice.

and the drug dealer;

Tom Waits as Jervis Tetch aka the Mad Hatter:

probably a small role. this would be the Mad Hatter as presented in Grant Morrison and Dave McKean's ARKHAM ASYLUM graphic novel; a glassy eyed Victorian pervert perpetually followed by an opium den fog. He'd have a unsettling taste for little girls, and cook up strong, potentially dangerous hallucinogens that forever remove the user from reality, enabling them to be lost in a fairy tale of their own mind.

this isn't so much inspired casting as it is inevitable. Waits as made a career out of being a quriky outsider flirting with maniacal disturbia. Here he'd be able to fully explore his dementia, similar to his role as Reinfeild in Coppola's DRACULA adaptation.

and for that ever important sex appeal that can also tie into BATMAN BEGINS;

Asia Argento as Talia Al Ghul:

Do i really have to explain myself here? Who else could play the breathtakingly exotic daughter of Ra's Al Ghul but the breathtakingly exotic daughter of Dario Argento? She's sexy, dangerous, and would look amazing in any number of the outfits Talia has been known to wear.

All boner-stroking aside, Talia would enable the film to come full circle, acting as the leader of the League of Shadows in her father's absence. You could hint at her attraction to Batman, but personally i'd make it more of a headgame/power play on Talia's part than genuine love. She'd fit into Nolan's world much more seamlessly than Catwoman or Poison Ivy or the like.

so yeah... there's my Batman casting. i'm boring and lame. whatever.

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