ANTI-CHRIST - 9/10
Mark my words; for the next 2 decades, every awful band from every awful genre will sample this movie to the point of cannibalism. all the profane horror of a midnight grindhouse legend with all the detailed sensibility of a arthouse dream factory. an INCREDIBLE performance by Charlotte Gainsbourg. the woman is simply unreal in this film. can't wait for the Criterion.
DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH: A FILM ABOUT HARLAN ELLISON - 10/10
the grandfather i always wanted. A genius in every possible way. get anything by him you possibly can.
THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPER BEASTO - 4/10
they don't call him "ROB" Zombie for nothing, as here in his animated effort (based on a comic that nobody reads), he copies everyone from Ralph Bakshi to John K of Ren and Stimpy, only without anything that made those any good. Childishly foul-mouthed character after childishly foul-mouthed character chase toon-tang for 80 some-odd minutes, while Zombie finds another way to show the world that he's fucking Sheri Moon and we're not. Brian Posehn as the libidinous transformer body guard of Sheri Moon's character gets a few laughs, but otherwise this is more annoying than it is funny, and while trying to posses all the perversity of classic underground animation, its no more sleazy than a gym class full of obnoxious middle school aged boys.
LIFE IS HOT IN CRACKTOWN - 5/10
Buddy G of the infamously brutal COMBAT SHOCK returns from a twenty year exile to further explore its themes of urban decay, desperation, addiction, and desperate violence. Unfortunately, CRACKTOWN is a mixed bag. The whole "interlocking narrative" thing is pretty played at this point, but it's more frustrating here because there are two good stories (the young boy and his sister, the would-be gang banger) that get dragged down by 2 not-so-good stories involving a convenience store clerk's screaming baby (an obvious ode to COMBAT SHOCK's tiny mutant) and a transsexual prostitute and hisher's borderline retarded husband. The film's most intense moments are during the story of the gang-banger, absolutely the most loathsome and violent scenes in the film, and the most heart warming involve the young boy and his sister. these are the people who kept the movie swinging, yet the other two plots seem to take center stage... probably because they involved such beauties as Kerry Washington and Shannyn Sossamon, who i am going to marry one day.
oh and btw; the brunette in the picture above is none other than Donna Hayward herself, Lara Flynn Boyle, who has apparently taken a liking to deep-throating curling irons. what a shame.
HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE - 1/10
completely fucking obnoxious and up its own ass with a misguided sense of being glib, this is essentially the cinematic equivalent of a celebrity blog that wants to be an indictment of a lifestyle it at the same time longs to be a part of. call it SWIMMING WITH SHARKS with water wings. Just when you think the movie is going to start seriously looking at itself, it goes back to being cute and silly, which is a problem with my whole miserable generation. The only way people know how to approach sincerity is to be glib and sarcastic, wishy-washing the issues and never confronting who they are or who anyone is. also it should be noted that when i typed the name of this film into a search engine, that picture of Megan Fox in the water was pretty much the only picture that came up. hurm.